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The SoundHole :: General :: Songwriting :: New tune of the month Author Topic: New tune of the month (Read 139 times) marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 New tune of the month « Thread Started on Sept 21, 2009, 9:40am » I started working on yet another tune. JUST what the world needs more of ! ! ! It's a musical pattern in DADGAD. I mentioned it in the daily a couple days ago. I came up with a musical phrase that is fun and engaging to play. There's a first musical line. Then a second musical line that was going to be repeated and then a forth line that closed the phrase. But it wasn't flowing quite right. So a couple nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night (not uncommon) and ran through the music in my head (uncommon) and came up with a 3rd different musical line that was a devlopment of the previous 1 & 2. It seemed to lead into the concluding 4th line better. So, I got up and went to a quiet part of the house with a guitar and plunked it out. And it works very nicely (as nice as anything I do). And in the process there's a bridge section that has been laying around from a past failed song effort that may fit with this pattern acceptably. So it's got that going for it. Thematically, I decided I want to try to write a Christmas song. It could fit the mood of the music pretty well. But I don't have a clue about a storyline or an angle. Though I have an idea I may want to make it about some down-and-out character who reminisces about some lost opportunity or situation. Sort of a "there but for the grace of God" storyline for the listener. Not too schmaltzy or too direct. We'll see. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! fingerplucked Senior Member member is offline Joined: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 7,545 Location: Chicago Re: New tune of the month « Reply #1 on Sept 21, 2009, 9:55am » If you make it about Christmas in the summer, you can sing it all year long. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Videos: http://www.youtube.com/JimFayVideos Audio: http://soundclick.com/jimfay marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #2 on Oct 1, 2009, 9:26am » Musically the parts are all there. I just play this thing over and over and over again. It's so much fun. But I'm still searching for a story line. It could be an Elinor Rigby type tune; where each verse is about a different character with a unifying punch line. I don't know. I'm still clueless about it lyrically. But musically it's 95% there. There's a verse part that has a concluding musical line that can express an anchoring thought. The bridge has been a ticklingly fun thing to work out. It was a musical line that I stole from the rotting corpse of another song that never got off the ground. The fun part is the rhythm of the 2 tunes are different. For a while I was having trouble stretching out the bridge musical phrase to fit the rhythm of the new song. Then I fell on an idea to play it in it's original quick-step way with a synchopated rhythm that allows the bridge melody to be expressed in it's natural meter, while it floats in synchopated time over the rhythm of the main song. Really COOL to play. I just love it. And to top it off; I decided the first time I play the bridge I'll do it instrumentally (as a break from the rest of the tune), then the second time through I have a vocal part that goes along with the instrumental part, and the vocal line is actually a harmony to the guitar part. It just makes me giggle to think about it; it's such a joy to play. (PS - Flake referred to his photography as therapy. This is therapy for me. ) « Last Edit: Oct 1, 2009, 9:55am by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #3 on Oct 12, 2009, 10:21pm » Been casually churning some lyrical story lines. I may weave a couple stories about people separated around a catch-all closing phrase that could be: "I just want to see your smile." or something like that. Probably sad stories as the music is melancholy. (as are many Christmas songs). And here's a kicker; the bridge part, which is a synchopation of the main beat will be instrumental the first time through. Then the last time through, there's a vocal melody (that is a harmony of the guitar melody). . . , and I think I'm going to make it a stylized version of a few lines from "Silent Night." Probably: Silent Night. Oh Holy night. All is calm. All is bright. Holy Infant; tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace. Those would be the lines that would fit the new melody. kinda schmatlzy. But Christmas Music is like that. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #4 on Oct 15, 2009, 10:51am » The Silent Night portion is sinking in. So the other parts are likely going to be about children; thus keeping with the Silent Night conclusion. Yet I want to have some edge to this song. I think i want the Silent Night thing to be a juxtaposition of the storyline. There's been a lot of uproar here about the kid that was beaten walking to school. It was caught on cell-phone video. I think it's been on national news (with the Olympic bid and all). So I may want to weave that story into the verses. The problem in writing about a current-news story is pretty quickly it's old news. And I want this to be more general in nature. I clipped a story from the Tribune about the slaying. The kid, Derrian Albert was beaten in front of the Agape Community Center. Agape is a Greek word for unconditional love (I'm pretty sure). What a juxtaposition ! ! ! The story also talks about a woman in the community who has turned her home into an after-school center for youth. There she has also created a memorial on one wall to children that have died in Chicago from shooting or other violence over the last couple years. There are 163 stories on the wall and she's 21 behind. There should be a good enough story there to tell. « Last Edit: Oct 15, 2009, 10:58am by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! fingerplucked Senior Member member is offline Joined: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 7,545 Location: Chicago Re: New tune of the month « Reply #5 on Oct 15, 2009, 11:04am » These stories are getting more & more attention, and rightfully so. But keep in mind that statistically, kids getting killed/murdered in Chicago are actually on the decline. I just tried to post but it hung up. While I was waiting I had another thought: What about verses telling of different child murders, chorus of the Silent Night part you posted above? It'd make for a pretty weird song. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Videos: http://www.youtube.com/JimFayVideos Audio: http://soundclick.com/jimfay marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #6 on Oct 15, 2009, 1:00pm » Weird is the way I like them. I think I'll do the Silent Night only at the end. It has a surprise factor that doesn't work multiple times. Sort of like Bill's favorite artist after Neil Young, Dan Fogelberg did on "Auld Lang Syne." I may want to focus on the woman who runs the youth center. She's the character that transcend's the awfulness. « Last Edit: Oct 15, 2009, 1:02pm by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #7 on Oct 21, 2009, 10:05am » Here's the first verse: For the children today Who are off to school each day Trekking down angry streets Where Innocence was slain There’s somewhere they can go Ms Diane opens her home Welcoming all that need a place Where spirits can grow Fill them with hope and peace. I need a second verse (probably a different story with similar conclusion). Then the final Silent Night. Oh Holy night All is well. All I bright. Holy Infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Fill them with hope and peace. « Last Edit: Oct 21, 2009, 10:30am by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #8 on Oct 24, 2009, 10:26am » Subtle changes: For the children today Who are off to school this day Walking down angry streets Where Innocence was slain There’s somewhere they can go To Ms Diane's home Welcoming all to a place Where spirits can grow Give them some hope and peace. No second verse yet. But I'm taking this to a couple song critique circles tomorrow. So I better get something down. « Last Edit: Oct 24, 2009, 10:28am by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #9 on Oct 25, 2009, 12:24am » OK this is it for now. The first verse is about the Chicago Gang violence. The second verse is from a story, "Saving the witch children of Africa." I'm trying not to be a downer. But the whole idea of Christmas is a ying/yang thing. In Christendom, we celebrate a Savior; but who needs a savior, if there is no evil to save. And on a secular level, we spend so much effort "giving" to others, when shouldn't we be doing that everyday? So, that's where I'm coming from on this one. It's definitely got an edge, lyrically. But musically it's pastoral. Silent Night For the children today Who are off to school each day Walking down angry streets Where Innocence was slain There’s somewhere they can go It's to Ms. Diane's home She welcomes them to a place Where spirits can grow In their world bring them peace (instrumental) In Africa today While religious leaders pray A child has been left abandoned “She's a witch,” they say The child is crying here Mr. Gary sees her fear Comes to her with compassion Resuce is near. In their world bring them peace Silent Night. Holy night All is calm. All is bright Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace In this world bring them peace (made some changes based on my song circle comments.) (additional tweaks) (more tweaks) « Last Edit: Nov 18, 2009, 12:06pm by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #10 on Nov 19, 2009, 8:02pm » OK there's YouTube version of it now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uK8MlIMQ1Vk Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! fingerplucked Senior Member member is offline Joined: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 7,545 Location: Chicago Re: New tune of the month « Reply #11 on Nov 19, 2009, 11:12pm » Nice. I like that a lot better than just reading the lyrics. That's a keeper. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Videos: http://www.youtube.com/JimFayVideos Audio: http://soundclick.com/jimfay marshall Senior Member member is offline I'm off in a world of my own. Joined: Sept 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 7,360 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #12 on Nov 20, 2009, 9:01am » Thanks, Jim. It's always hard to describe music verbally. And it always starts with a musical pattern for me. This one is supposed to be gentle but subtle with subject matter. But when you read it without the music, it's much more of a sledge hammer. I love the way this one captures the natural sound of the Zoo. It's all acoustic. I think I like the natural reverberation in the Kitchen/Breakfast area where this one is recorded. That's where I'll probably do the home video productions. It's subtle lighting with a gentle visual backdrop. And the all-white dress-up is sort of wintery. It'll be interesting to see if the title brings in any number of views during the holiday season. « Last Edit: Nov 20, 2009, 9:06am by marshall » Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Confuse-us say; Opposite of mystique is: mister walnut. Put that in ying/yang, and smoke it ! fingerplucked Senior Member member is offline Joined: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 7,545 Location: Chicago Re: New tune of the month « Reply #13 on Nov 20, 2009, 11:31am » Nov 20, 2009, 9:01am, marshall wrote: It'll be interesting to see if the title brings in any number of views during the holiday season. I think you can count on it. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged Videos: http://www.youtube.com/JimFayVideos Audio: http://soundclick.com/jimfay lars Newbie member is offline Joined: Sept 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 42 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #14 on Nov 28, 2009, 10:06am » Hey Marshall....Starting at the top of the thread and reading through your process (Nov. 21-28 one week) was and is a great revelation on how you work through this songwriting thing. And of course the youtube finale was the icing on the cake . I've been teaching guitar for a number of years now and have never really found a step by step approach to teaching songwriting... teaching them to play an "F" chord is daunting enough. Musical composition is starting to find its way into some of my student's curiosity but all are very self conscious about singing....anyway thank you for taking the time and sharing. This is something I put up yesterday after working on the song for about three weeks which includes the time it takes to learn the performance of the song. I wrote this after hearing a blues singer from here and immediately wanted to challenge myself with writing something for her. She's edgy and has great depth. I sent her the link last night and I'm nervous because I've never really wrote and then pitched a song to another artist before. Anyway I hope I'm not hogging your thread Marshall. Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged lars Newbie member is offline Joined: Sept 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 42 Re: New tune of the month « Reply #15 on Nov 28, 2009, 1:43pm » Wow... I just heard back from the blues artist and she would love to sing the song on the "Larry Jensen Tribute CD" (you may not know what that is) anyway her name is Erin McCullum and here is a sample of her voice and spirit Link to Post - Back to Top   Logged fingerplucked Senior Member member is offline Joined: Nov 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 7,545 Location: Chicago Re: New tune of the month « Reply #16 on Nov 29, 2009, 10:20am » As long as you're hogging.... I like the song. I liked your performance too. It'll be interesting to see what she does with it, but I think you've already set the bar pretty high. 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