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Post by Village Idiot on Apr 17, 2014 12:41:06 GMT -5
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Post by Shannon on Apr 17, 2014 12:53:52 GMT -5
I'm not sure there's a single piece of good advice in that flier.
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Post by Lonnie on Apr 17, 2014 13:01:34 GMT -5
Wow... that is just wrong. Whoever authorized the use of that should be immediately dismissed. They obviously have no business working in a school system. And whoever wrote it in the first place... words fail me.
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Post by RickW on Apr 17, 2014 13:01:39 GMT -5
The sad part is that "don't tell on bullies because they will retaliate" is true. That's one of the number one things that bullied kids will say: I told an adult, the adult told the bully to stop, the bully waited until the adult was gone then beat the crap out of me. Adults tend to not do much, in truth, and most kids come to realize that pretty quick. Because it's not an easy thing to do anything about.
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Post by Lonnie on Apr 17, 2014 13:06:59 GMT -5
The "don't be a sore loser" is applicable for sports and group activities among friends, but completely irrelevant in dealing with bullies.
I remember a bully who harassed me in 6th or 7th grade. I tried ignoring him, I took my lumps, I never fought back... I actually did a lot of the suggested stuff, I was too scared to tell on him. It kept up for a few months until one day I saw him approach out of the corner of my eye. Before he could say or do anything, I hauled off and kicked him in the nuts (for what it's worth, he outweighed me by a good 50 pounds, he was one of the school tough guys). That ended the problem, he never came near me again.
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Post by millring on Apr 17, 2014 13:17:34 GMT -5
The "don't be a sore loser" is applicable for sports and group activities among friends, but completely irrelevant in dealing with bullies. I remember a bully who harassed me in 6th or 7th grade. I tried ignoring him, I took my lumps, I never fought back... I actually did a lot of the suggested stuff, I was too scared to tell on him. It kept up for a few months until one day I saw him approach out of the corner of my eye. Before he could say or do anything, I hauled off and kicked him in the nuts (for what it's worth, he outweighed me by a good 50 pounds, he was one of the school tough guys). That ended the problem, he never came near me again. You kicked him so hard that even his children hated you -- if he could have had any.
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Post by godotwaits on Apr 17, 2014 13:21:10 GMT -5
the ole nutcracker solution..
I once had a situation where a bully had stolen my bike and when I finally located him, I told him straight out what my beef was, and without a pause hauled off and slugged him, throwing him off balance into a hedge behind him... which was the home of a hornets nest. Never had a problem outa him again.
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Post by Lonnie on Apr 17, 2014 13:27:46 GMT -5
Well, my experience is that they don't stop if you tell, they don't stop if you don't tell... they don't stop until they are stopped. I'm not saying that my retaliation in that instance was correct, but none of the stuff in that take-home sheet would have worked at all. It's as bad as the rape defense that says the woman was somehow asking for it, or brought it upon herself.
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Post by billhammond on Apr 17, 2014 13:29:14 GMT -5
The "don't be a sore loser" is applicable for sports and group activities among friends, but completely irrelevant in dealing with bullies. I remember a bully who harassed me in 6th or 7th grade. I tried ignoring him, I took my lumps, I never fought back... I actually did a lot of the suggested stuff, I was too scared to tell on him. It kept up for a few months until one day I saw him approach out of the corner of my eye. Before he could say or do anything, I hauled off and kicked him in the nuts (for what it's worth, he outweighed me by a good 50 pounds, he was one of the school tough guys). That ended the problem, he never came near me again. That man, my friends, was Frankie Valli.
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Dub
Administrator
I'm gettin' so the past is the only thing I can remember.
Posts: 19,842
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Post by Dub on Apr 17, 2014 14:15:47 GMT -5
What can one say?
I had a run-in with a bully in grammar school. There was a pair of twins my age that terrorized the playground. One was very effeminate and would run up to a group of girls, kick them, and run away. The other was a tough guy type who punched and kicked boys, started fistfights, and kept everyone in fear. They both smelled bad all the time, even from a distance. I often walked past their house on the way home and you could smell the reek from the house for a hundred feet on either side of it. We used to speed up there to pass more quickly.
One day the tough one came up to me just across the street from school as we were walking home. He started getting threatening and, being no fighter, I was pretty sure I couldn't beat him in a fight. So without indicating my intention I gut punched him as hard as I could and took off running. I don't think I have ever run as fast. I didn't look back because I feared it would slow me down but, even though I ran past his house, I never heard footsteps behind me.
But he never bothered me again and other students thanked me later.
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Dub
Administrator
I'm gettin' so the past is the only thing I can remember.
Posts: 19,842
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Post by Dub on Apr 17, 2014 14:19:05 GMT -5
The "don't be a sore loser" is applicable for sports and group activities among friends, but completely irrelevant in dealing with bullies. I remember a bully who harassed me in 6th or 7th grade. I tried ignoring him, I took my lumps, I never fought back... I actually did a lot of the suggested stuff, I was too scared to tell on him. It kept up for a few months until one day I saw him approach out of the corner of my eye. Before he could say or do anything, I hauled off and kicked him in the nuts (for what it's worth, he outweighed me by a good 50 pounds, he was one of the school tough guys). That ended the problem, he never came near me again. That man, my friends, was Frankie Valli. Heh. Thus, the high voice.
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Post by Doug on Apr 17, 2014 14:26:05 GMT -5
I was always small. When I went in the Marines I was 5'2" and 115lbs. I didn't get to 5' till I was a junior in HS and didn't get over 4' till some where in freshman year.
My solution was you can beat me but you will be in the hospital. Never quit fighting till you are unconscious. By the end of my 8th grade year everyone knew it wasn't worth picking on me.
Solution to bullies is to make it physically expensive to bully you. Doesn't matter if you win or loose as long as you do damage.
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Post by Cosmic Wonder on Apr 17, 2014 15:23:17 GMT -5
Yep, onliest way to deal with a bully is to hurt him.
Now, about Russia...
Mike
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Post by brucemacneill on Apr 17, 2014 15:58:49 GMT -5
My story seems similar. I was younger and therefore smaller than my classmates and I was bullied, runt with glasses even. It didn't end until Highschool when I decided I didn't care if I got killed and decked one of them and he wound up falling backwards over a desk. Everyone cheered. I got no more crap. I learned a lot that day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2014 16:30:15 GMT -5
I told my Mum that I was being bullied. Mum then had a word with the Headmaster. Very stern warnings were issued to the bully. He behaved himself after that.
The only other time that I was bothered was by a chemistry teacher who constantly and cruelly picked on me. Mum gave me a letter to give to the guy. I steamed it open for a read. It was witheringly critical of his lack of professionalism and lack of class as a human being. It was very gratifying to watch him read it. He behaved after that.
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Post by Village Idiot on Apr 17, 2014 21:49:38 GMT -5
I had a tought about fights in general earlier this week, when I witnessed a fight in a high school hallway. It started right out of blue, no one saw it coming, and it was pretty bad. Two very big boys pounding the crap out of each other, one got the advantage, and was going to do a lot of harm to the other. It took a lot to break up the thing. (I had nothing to do with it, "I don't work here").
Anyway, the thought occured to me and maybe my mind is remembering what it wants to, not reality.
I remember there being fights when I was in school. Sure there were fights. And I'm sure some erupted in the hallways. But the fights I remember started with one threatening the other, some name calling, and then arranging a time when the fight would occur.
"3:30 behind the school, dumbf*&K!"
"I'm there, a$$hole!"
When the time for the fight came, everyone would know about it and there'd be a large group waiting to watch. The two fighters would arrive, but something had happened between then and when the time had been set. Tempers had diffused, mostly, and the fight turned into nothing more than a name-calling spree until an adult showed up and broke it all up.
I find that odd, thinking about it now. "Wanna fight?" "Yes. How about 3:30?" "Ok". Like pistols at dawn. But those were more peaceful times.
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Post by lar on Apr 17, 2014 22:04:26 GMT -5
I think the reason most bullies get away with what they do is that they act tough and beat on people smaller than they are. In many cases bullies are really cowards and when seriously confronted they back down right away. Some of the stories told here tend to support my thinking.
I'm not a violent person but I do believe that there are certain people who are so ignorant of normal behavior or who just don't care, that the only way to deal with them is through violence. It's sad and not civilized, but it's also reality.
I'm fortunate. I've always been big and not many people have tried to bully me. I've had one fight in my life. It was in high school. It wasn't much of a fight; a one-punch affair after I finally decided I wasn't going to tolerate his elbowing me as we went up and down the floor at basketball pracice one day. So I decked him. I won't say we became friends after that but we were at least on friendly terms. And he stopped bothering other people too.
Not too many years ago some guy decided he didn't want me to date a woman that he had been dating. One night he stood in her driveway and said some very nasty things to her and threatened me. That all came to a halt when I took off my coat and started towards him. He never bothered either of us again.
The problem is that there are people in this world who believe that anything can be resolved through negotiation or by telling the bully to stop. It doesn't work.
As far as Mike's question about Russia is concerned; threatening to go to war with Putin won't solve anything. He's got an army and no real dog in the fight. The solution is to get rid of Putin's body guards for about 10 minutes and then to beat the snot out of him with a warning that if he doesn't get the hell out of The Ukraine, you'll be back.
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Post by TKennedy on Apr 17, 2014 23:34:38 GMT -5
I totally agree Lar. I think you nailed it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2014 8:31:12 GMT -5
In recent years however, the development of anti-bullying initiatives in schools has evolved considerably and achieved many encouraging outcomes. The lamentable approach of the school in the above story is appalling but there are effective ways for schools to create an environment/ecology that does not tolerate bullying.
Bullies do not thrive in a vacuum. Their behaviours are negative but in their own way a means of gaining status amongst certain peers. It is often possible, although by no means a small effort, to successfully address the unhealthy climate of an institution and diminish that peer approval greatly.
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Post by Doug on Apr 18, 2014 8:41:49 GMT -5
In recent years however, the development of anti-bullying initiatives in schools has evolved considerably and achieved many encouraging outcomes. The lamentable approach of the school in the above story is appalling but there are effective ways for schools to create an environment/ecology that does not tolerate bullying. Being the biggest bully doesn't = does not tolerate bullying.
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