Post by fauxmaha on Jan 26, 2015 21:06:28 GMT -5
Found on the web...supposedly from a live, bluegrass show of his:
■ "I am a little tired tonight from staying up all night practicing. But you know what, that was three years ago, and I've got to get over it."
■ "This next song is a singalong, but it has no lyrics, so good luck."
■ "I like to write songs based on personal experience, and this next song is called, 'I Think My Masseuse Is Too Chatty.'"
■ "These new tuners emit so much less radiation than the old ones."
■ "You probably notice I have a lot of banjos on stage. I think of my banjos as my children, which means that one of them is probably not mine."
■ "I'll be honest with you, some nights I play fantastic, and other nights I play fine and wish I played better. But you know, a couple of weeks ago, I went to see Eric Clapton play live, and I thought, 'He's not so funny.'"
■ "By the way, I do not think of the Rangers as my band, I think of it more like I'm their celebrity."
■ "I'm doing two of my favorite things right now: comedy, and charging people to hear music."
■ "I don't write protest songs, so this one came from the heart. It's called, 'Let's Keep the Minimum Wage Right Where She's At.'"
■ "It's hard to believe, but ladies and gentlemen, we have come to our final song....But don't worry, actually your ticket entitles you to help load the sound equipment."
■ "Don't forget, you can follow us on Twitter, or you can do something meaningful with your lives."
■ "I know there are varying ticket prices tonight, and it really seems unfair to me that people who paid less can have the same encore experience. Please, if you paid less, please perhaps cover one eye."
■ "I am a little tired tonight from staying up all night practicing. But you know what, that was three years ago, and I've got to get over it."
■ "This next song is a singalong, but it has no lyrics, so good luck."
■ "I like to write songs based on personal experience, and this next song is called, 'I Think My Masseuse Is Too Chatty.'"
■ "These new tuners emit so much less radiation than the old ones."
■ "You probably notice I have a lot of banjos on stage. I think of my banjos as my children, which means that one of them is probably not mine."
■ "I'll be honest with you, some nights I play fantastic, and other nights I play fine and wish I played better. But you know, a couple of weeks ago, I went to see Eric Clapton play live, and I thought, 'He's not so funny.'"
■ "By the way, I do not think of the Rangers as my band, I think of it more like I'm their celebrity."
■ "I'm doing two of my favorite things right now: comedy, and charging people to hear music."
■ "I don't write protest songs, so this one came from the heart. It's called, 'Let's Keep the Minimum Wage Right Where She's At.'"
■ "It's hard to believe, but ladies and gentlemen, we have come to our final song....But don't worry, actually your ticket entitles you to help load the sound equipment."
■ "Don't forget, you can follow us on Twitter, or you can do something meaningful with your lives."
■ "I know there are varying ticket prices tonight, and it really seems unfair to me that people who paid less can have the same encore experience. Please, if you paid less, please perhaps cover one eye."
