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Post by aquaduct on Oct 9, 2015 9:35:16 GMT -5
Everyone's a critic, eh? Well, I'll tell you one thing. I thought the scene where the Nazi SS officer came into the tent and methodically unfolded the torture instrument, only to eventually reveal that it was a simple coat hanger...well that was just brilliant writing right there. That was page 7, right?
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Dub
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Post by Dub on Oct 9, 2015 9:50:42 GMT -5
I'm certain that the addition of time travel to the story line would significantly increase the popularity of “The Constable’s Tale.” One of Fiddlerina’s guilty pleasures is reading Scottish romance novels featuring lairds (as opposed to lards) wearing kilts* and stuff. She says the ones she most enjoys also involve time travel. So add some time travel, and possibly some kilts*, and I'm confident that sales will improve dramatically.
You're welcome.
* Kilts were preferred by lairds and such because the sensitive ears of sheep can detect the sound of zippers a long way off.
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Post by fauxmaha on Oct 9, 2015 9:52:53 GMT -5
I'm reminded of this bit from an interview with Alfred Hitchcock:
So, in other words, I think the sequel needs lions. Lots of lions.
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Post by millring on Oct 9, 2015 9:53:40 GMT -5
I know. How about Wonder Woman ! omg. Caitlyn Jenner in the role of the Constable's sidekick. So many bases covered in one fell soup.
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Post by millring on Oct 9, 2015 9:56:31 GMT -5
I'm still having issues getting past the whole "constable" thing in the first place. Like, the first thing you think of when you read the word "constable" ISN'T that it's an antonym for "constipate", as in: "I was so constipated until I ate prunes. Now I am constable."
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Dub
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Post by Dub on Oct 9, 2015 9:57:45 GMT -5
… So many bases covered in one fell soup. That would be one swell foop.
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Post by aquaduct on Oct 9, 2015 10:00:56 GMT -5
So, in other words, I think the sequel needs lions. Lots of lions. What the hell, thier season's shot already. You can have them.
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Dub
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Post by Dub on Oct 9, 2015 10:18:54 GMT -5
Hmmm… this lion idea might work.
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Post by Marshall on Oct 9, 2015 10:29:23 GMT -5
… So many bases covered in one fell soup. That would be one swell foop. More like a fowl soup.
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Post by RickW on Oct 9, 2015 10:33:21 GMT -5
No, no,no. What the man needs is a hot car. He could use it to jump rivers and stuff. And a babe in cutoff jeans shorts looking hot beside him.
Or has that already been done?
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Post by aquaduct on Oct 9, 2015 10:36:12 GMT -5
No, no,no. What the man needs is a hot car. He could use it to jump rivers and stuff. And a babe in cutoff jeans shorts looking hot beside him. Or has that already been done? An Aston Martin painted orange with a big conferederate flag on top and Daisy Duke next to it. That's the ticket.
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Post by RickW on Oct 9, 2015 10:39:11 GMT -5
Now you are definitely talking. With a lift kit and massive four by four tires. Whoa, baby.
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Post by Chesapeake on Oct 9, 2015 10:45:20 GMT -5
There are so many good ideas here that I can't just choose one, or two, or three, or four, or five, or... you get the idea. So I've decided to use all of them in a sequel tentatively entitled "Tales from the SoundHole." Or maybe "Tails from the SoundHole" - my jury's still out on that. Also, there's an alternative ending, which I hesitate to reveal, lest it spoil the plot big-time. Let's just say it has to do with the baby. So, thanks for all the brilliance on display here. And by the way, if you think any of this entitles you to a cut of the royalties, dream on.
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Post by aquaduct on Oct 9, 2015 10:58:39 GMT -5
There are so many good ideas here that I can't just choose one, or two, or three, or four, or five, or... you get the idea. So I've decided to use all of them in a sequel tentatively entitled "Tales from the SoundHole." Or maybe "Tails from the SoundHole" - my jury's still out on that. Also, there's an alternative ending, which I hesitate to reveal, lest it spoil the plot big-time. Let's just say it has to do with the baby. So, thanks for all the brilliance on display here. And by the way, if you think any of this entitles you to a cut of the royalties, dream on. "Tails from the Soundhole" cover art:
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Post by Village Idiot on Oct 9, 2015 11:23:17 GMT -5
The fight scene on the ship was a great one. But I wish you would have gone into more detail when describing the character who was attacking Harry. You didn't mention his wooden leg, his hook hand or his eye patch. And when he was dispelled into the sea, did the parrot on his shoulder fly off or sink with him into the briny deep?
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Post by millring on Oct 9, 2015 12:20:02 GMT -5
The history was drawn with such accuracy in the portrayal of a culture that only bathed once a month or so, I could almost smell the sex scenes.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2015 12:22:03 GMT -5
I don't read, I watch Fox News.
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Dub
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Post by Dub on Oct 9, 2015 12:26:44 GMT -5
As a user of B&N's Nook e-reader, I discovered that B&N had a "Free Fridays" deal wherein one or two e-books would be offered for free on… you guessed it, Fridays. These were seldom books that interested me but, reading these offers over time, I began to realize that there is an entire genre of books dealing with gothic romance involving teenage vampires. Perhaps if you added some romance between teenage vampires you'd attract the attention of a reading audience that isn't often drawn to historical settings.
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Post by Village Idiot on Oct 9, 2015 13:49:13 GMT -5
One thing I learned about the era is the amount of cabbage eaten. Maybe in the more elegant gatherings, manservants would be wandering amongst the guests with trays of Beano.
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Post by aquaduct on Oct 9, 2015 14:43:06 GMT -5
You could also include a $50 bill inside the cover.
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