Where the Wabash Meets the Ohio

[Deleted]

At the risk of scaring away other songwriters and our Indonesian members, here's the first draft of another song....

Songwriters just seem to like the word "Ohio." There's so much you can do with it, and a lot of words that rhyme with it. I was sitting around last week and the phrase "where the Wabash meets the Ohio" popped into my head. I thought it was a cool line, so I decided to turn it into a murder ballad. I pulled out a map and the confluence of the two rivers is near Old Shawneetown, IL. Went online to try and find if there were any murders there that might lend themselves to song. Found one that happened back in 1995 where some teen killed his stepfather, but while I could find a couple of articles about the guy's arrest, I couldn't find any about the outcome of the case. The kid was charged with first-degree murder, but he doesn't show up in the Illinois Department of Corrections' online offender locator. I figured I could make up a story.

I changed all the names except the suspect's mother, whose name was "Madonna." When you get a chance to use the name "Madonna" in a song, take it.

(I did find some interesting articles about the arrest and conviction of the local sheriff, who was selling dope from the evidence locker, then threatened to kill two snitches who were going to report him to the Feds. That might've made a good song.)

Anyway, here is a first draft. Thoughts/insights/constructive criticism welcome. 

Where the Wabash Meets the Ohio
© 2017 by David Hanners

I'll tell you a tale of Old Shawneetown
Young Levi Crowe shot Tim Luttrell down
Here's fair warning, boys, if you ever go
Down where the Wabash meets the Ohio
Men always reap what they sow
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Tim Luttrell was a no-account from Arkansas
Gambled and drank and lived outside the law
Married a woman named Madonna Crowe
Near where the Wabash meets the Ohio
Some loves last, some don't
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Levi was Madonna's son by another man
And Tim Luttrell he simply could not stand
High on meth, tempers would flow
Like where the Wabash meets the Ohio
Two rising rivers, dam's gonna blow
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Madonna and Tim Luttrell quarrelled, who knows what about
Levi learned of it and called Tim Luttrell out
What happened next we don't really know
But it went down where the Wabash meets the Ohio
Farmer found the body, a scene of woe
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Sheriff wanted Levi to pay for his sin
Live out his days in Stateville Prison
Levi had other plans, got in his car and drove
Down where the Wabash meets the Ohio
They say he drowned but there's no corpse to show
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

A patch of tall weeds where the story ends
Corner of a cornfield where the muddy river bends
So boys, fair warning if you plan to go
Down where the Wabash meets the Ohio
They say Levi's soul floated clean to Mexico
From where the Wabash meets the Ohio

[Deleted]

Already edited it. The new version:

I'll tell you a tale of Old Shawneetown
Young Levi Crowe shot Tim Luttrell down
Here's fair warning, boys, if you ever go
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Tim Luttrell was a no-account from Arkansas
Gambled and drank and lived outside the law
Married a woman named Madonna Crowe
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Levi was Madonna's son by another man
And Tim Luttrell he simply could not stand
High on meth, tempers would flow
Like where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Men always reap what they sow
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Madonna and Tim Luttrell quarrelled, who knows what about
Levi learned of it and called Tim Luttrell out
What happened next we don't really know
But it went down where the Wabash meets the Ohio

Sheriff vowed Levi would pay for his sin
Live out his days in Stateville Prison
Levi waded in, fell to the undertow
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

A patch of tall weeds where the story ends
Corner of a cornfield where the muddy river bends
So boys, fair warning if you plan to go
Where the Wabash meets the Ohio

They say Levi's soul floated clean to Mexico
From where the Wabash meets the Ohio

[Deleted]

A couple more edits, and here is the video:

[Doug]

Way to go David

[Marshall]

Interesting. Evocative. Kinda wordy, though. I'd like the verse pattern more broken up by chorus or bridge more often. Three verses in a row seems a bit much without a break.

And probably more importantly, I'm not getting any passion from the song yet. Seems a little too matter-of-fact. I appreciate understatement hinting at bigger things, as a story telling tool. But I'm not getting drawn in yet. Why should I care about these folks?


I haven't checked the Songwriting forum in a long time. Sorry for that. We haven't gotten a critical mass of interest around here over the years. But it's still important territory that is dear to my heart.

Keep up the good work.

[Deleted]

While I understand what you're saying -- and caring about characters is important -- I have two main characters here who are hard to empathize with. One is a troublemaking domestic abuser, the other is an anger-filled kid with a meth problem. Perhaps I could make Levi a bit more sympathetic. One of the morals of the story is that when you put bad people together, bad things will happen. It is a tale lacking heroes.

Maybe I could end it with Madonna down at the river mourning both (or leave it ambiguous who she mourns for) and walk away that way. That at least leaves you with a human at the end.

Thanks for your insights. Back to ye olde drawing board....

[Deleted]

Ok, Marshall, what about replacing the last verse with this:

In the dark of a new moon down where the Wabash flows (or "slows"?)
Some claim they've seen Madonna Crowe dressed in mourning clothes
Which man she grieves, we will never know
Down where the Wabash meets the Ohio


That adds some feeling at the end, as well as a sense of mystery.

I'll keep plodding....

(And have you ever been to Marshall, IL, seat of my home county?)