"The Pain of Philandro Castile"

[Deleted]

Back in the U.S. two days and churned this one out. Had been wanting to write a song about this case for awhile. Kept it simple and protest-y. Even abroad, this case was big news.

Still may undergo some editing but I'm comfortable with it for the most part. Each verse worked out to 27 words. Go figure.

The Pain of Philandro Castile
© 2017 by David Hanners

A cop pulls over an honest working man
Only crime being black behind the wheel
I don’t understand how a cop gets away
With killing Philandro Castile

He was driving down Larpenteur in Falcon Heights
In a ‘97 Oldsmobile
Cop said he matched a suspect in a crime
Who looked nothing like Philandro Castile

Did everything the cop said to do
Nothing he tried to conceal
So there was no reason for that cop
To put five rounds in Philandro Castile

Twelve jurors heard the case, 12 jurors let him walk
The verdict still seems unreal
Courtrooms and justice aren’t always the same
Where’s justice for Philandro Castile?

You keep on telling me that all lives matter
But when will white America feel
The agony of all those wronged
And the pain of Philandro Castile?

There’s a register of names we won’t forget
Forged in fire like Damascus steel
To Tamir, Eric, Freddie and a thousand more
Add the name Philandro Castile

[Marshall]

Powerful ! ! !


Once again, I see the 5th stanza as a bridge.

[Deleted]

Sept 25, 2017 8:20:02 GMT -5 Marshall said:

Powerful ! ! !


Once again, I see the 5th stanza as a bridge.

Thanks for the kind words. Castile was shot and killed just a mile of so from where I used to live. Drove down Larpenteur nearly every week.

Since posting the song, I have retooled it. Also realize his name was Philando, not Philandro. (It appears both ways in stories online.) Now it has a chorus. Here is the new version:

Driving down Larpenteur in Falcon Heights
In a ‘97 Oldsmobile
Tell me how a cop gets away
With killing Philando Castile

He did what the cop said to do
Nothing he tried to conceal
There was no cause for that cop
To put five rounds in Philando Castile

(Chorus)
You keep telling me all lives matter
But when will white America feel
The agony of the wronged
And the pain of Philando Castile?

Twelve jurors heard the case, 12 jurors let him walk
Verdict still seems unreal
A courtroom and justice ain’t the same
Where’s justice for Philando Castile?

(Chorus)

There’s a register of names we won’t forget
Forged in fire like Damascus steel
To Tamir, Eric, Freddie and a thousand more
Add the name “Philando Castile"

[Deleted]

Here is a video: 

[Marshall]

Well one thing comes immediately to mind; There's no melody. . . , 95% of the notes in the verses and even the chorus are the same. The chord pattern is rich and ernest. The rhythm drives along. The lyrics tell a compelling story. But there's no melody in the present version. I was hearing all sorts of possible rise and fall moments. But so far, you haven't gotten there.

Though I suspect you will. right now it's mechanics and rhythm and story. A little melody and rise and fall would be nice.

The tenses in the the first verse are a little off. "Driving down Larpentur" sounds like it's first person; like the singer is doing the driving. Then you shift to 3rd person story telling. That threw me off.

A dramatic and compelling story. Keep up the good work.

[Deleted]

Come up with a better melody and I'm all ears....

The use of present tense in the first verse was intended to make the song's intro sound immediate and now. If I'd put it in the past tense, it would've started out like every other folk song and sea shanty. This is an event that took place in the past, but the issue still exists. I also avoided referring to who was driving down Larpenteur in the hope that the listener might put himself/herself in the driver's seat. If he or she envisions themselves driving down the street, the events that follow seem even more absurd and unjust.

The song reverts to the past tense in the second and third verses in order to tell the story. Then it returns to present tense for the last verse because, as I noted, the issue still exists.