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Post by millring on Feb 5, 2020 6:05:28 GMT -5
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Post by sidheguitarmichael on Feb 5, 2020 13:28:28 GMT -5
The irony... of Warren... not polling in the top 4... here...  |
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Post by fauxmaha on Feb 5, 2020 14:35:12 GMT -5
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Post by brucemacneill on Feb 5, 2020 14:37:10 GMT -5
Well, at least we know Jeff didn't pose for it. |
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Post by sidheguitarmichael on Feb 5, 2020 22:08:24 GMT -5
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Post by Marshall on Feb 6, 2020 9:55:55 GMT -5
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Post by John B on Feb 6, 2020 10:07:56 GMT -5
.  |
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Post by Marshall on Feb 6, 2020 11:00:26 GMT -5
For the Attorney's of our world:
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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Post by sidheguitarmichael on Feb 6, 2020 11:25:35 GMT -5
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Post by Marshall on Feb 6, 2020 12:36:33 GMT -5
 Fake News ! - Trump would never use "Love" |
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Post by fauxmaha on Feb 6, 2020 15:46:05 GMT -5
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Post by coachdoc on Feb 6, 2020 21:41:39 GMT -5
OK. Who quit, what, where and when???
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Post by Marshall on Feb 7, 2020 1:12:59 GMT -5
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Post by Marshall on Feb 7, 2020 1:14:46 GMT -5
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Post by millring on Feb 7, 2020 9:15:29 GMT -5
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Post by AlanC on Feb 7, 2020 11:06:55 GMT -5
nm
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Post by Marshall on Feb 7, 2020 14:28:39 GMT -5
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Post by sidheguitarmichael on Feb 7, 2020 16:57:41 GMT -5
^^^This is exactly the sort of deplorable humor we expect out of this thread. Top notch work, Marshall.  |
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Post by Shannon on Feb 7, 2020 17:36:10 GMT -5
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Post by Marshall on Feb 7, 2020 18:01:43 GMT -5
(of course Hammond likes it)
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