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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 10:20:50 GMT -5
Still mulling the idea of a concept album involving the oral history transcript I found of a former Terre Haute "madam," and it struck me that if I'm going to do an album of songs about people from the seedier side of life, I should do a waltz taking an archaic/nostalgic view of the city. Inspired by Greg Brown's "The Iowa Waltz," I came up with this.
It is probably one of those songs that only someone who wasn't from there could write. For years and years, if you asked most people about Terre Haute, their main thoughts would be "Sin City," corruption, gambling and hideous odors. Aside from a chemical plant, there was a factory that made railroad ties and injected them with creosote and the place smelled to high heaven. Actually the smell was more hellish.
But the town is also the birthplace of Eugene Debs and the modern labor movement, and there are four universities there, so I figured I'd take a nostalgic view of the place. And there are parts of the city that are kind of beautiful -- key words there being "parts" and "kind of."
Also, I talk in the song about fishing in the Wabash. People do it, but I certainly wouldn't. The stretch of the Wabash through Terre Haute is muddy, the banks are ugly and the river is no doubt filled with agricultural runoff and who-knows-what-else. I'm surprised Jeremy Wade of "River Monsters" hasn't arrived to film a show on the river's horribly mutated fish.
I've emailed a friend of mine who is a columnist at the Terre Haute paper who knows about music and I've asked him if the song is just too hokey and if I'd be laughed out of town on a rail. Got a robo-message saying he was on vacation until next week, so until then, I'm on my own.
Haven't recorded or filmed it yet, but here are the lyrics and, as always, they care copyright 2012 by David Hanners:
THE TERRE HAUTE WALTZ
On the banks of the Wabash there is a town
Where all of my mem'ries are dear
Through bad times and good times, love lost and found
I want to stay right here
chorus:
Terre Haute, the breeze calls your name
Through the leaves of the sycamore
Take me back to the crossroads one final time
Then I shall roam no more
Prairie and smokestacks, a girl with her books
A farmer tilling his field
Labor united, railyards and coal
I want to stay right here
(chorus)
The Wabash flows slow on a hot summer day
Dragonflies hang in the air
Catfish tugs on a 20-pound line
I want to stay right here
(chorus and end)
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Dub
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I'm gettin' so the past is the only thing I can remember.
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Post by Dub on Apr 3, 2012 13:45:19 GMT -5
I like it!
I always think of Debs first when I think of Terre Haute. I still have my red Debs tee shirt. Unfortunately EVD is inadequitly remembered these days. Debs received two million votes in 1922 mostly in the upper Midwest.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2012 16:29:53 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind words.
Debs was also in the federal pen in Atlanta at the time, which makes his vote-getting even more astounding. To me, anyway.
Tommy John is also from Terre Haute. My brother batted against him in little league. And Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown is buried there.
Larry Bird and I went to college there.
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Post by Lonnie on Apr 3, 2012 19:22:32 GMT -5
Hope you don't mind some critique from a friend...
This verse:
Prairie and smokestacks, a girl with her books
A farmer tilling his field
Labor united, railyards and coal
I want to stay right here
Too many snapshot images and not enough meat, and I say that in a very positive way. There are maybe three verses in there just begging to be written. Who is that girl? The fact (that most people wouldn't know unless you set up the song as you did in your post) that there are four universtities isn't enough for me... keep her mysterious, but please say more. And what about those railyards and coal, what do they smell like? Why do they make you want to stay right there? Put some aromas in the song...
Having said that, I can't wait to hear it!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2012 9:18:47 GMT -5
Those are great points, Lonnie, and I shall have to mull them. Thanks for them. (We need to revive that songwriters' group....) My inclination at this point would be to cull the "snapshots." I hadn't thought of them that way, but when you mention it, it makes sense. Viewed that way, I am probably overloading the verse with them.
My desire is to keep the song short. I mentioned being inspired, in part, by Greg Brown's "Iowa Waltz" and while I'm certainly no Greg Brown, his song has two verses and that's it. He's done. I had wanted to emulate that succinctness and still try and say some things about the city. Maybe I am saying too much.
If I re-work the second verse, I would probably cut out the reference to the girl and her books and pare it down to a story about prairie/industry/labor. It is a heavily agricultural area, but there is also industry and I have to give a nod to Debs. Brown concentrates on the wistful rural visions in "Iowa Waltz" (leaving Des Moines to ask, "What am I? Chopped liver?") and I thought about going solely that route, but it just seemed like I was leaving out something important.
Back to the drawing board....
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2012 9:52:04 GMT -5
In looking the song over again, one thought that occurred to me is maybe I should just drop the second verse entirely....
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Post by Lonnie on Apr 4, 2012 9:55:23 GMT -5
"The girl with her books" is a very evocative image. Placed where it is in that verse is mysterious. What I immediately saw was a schoolgirl , books clutched to her chest, standing in a railyard or other industrial area, grime on her face ... sort of a charcoal drawing. She's probably worthy of her own song. If I was "driving through the song" (so to speak) I would have hit the brakes when I saw her there and backed up for a better look...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2012 10:19:33 GMT -5
If you stood with your books in a railyard in Terre Haute, you'd probably get run over by a train....
Weak attempts at humor aside, I'm beginning to believe the second verse can be ditched entirely, although I might try and pare it to the prairie/industry thing. But you're right; as it stands now, those phrases in the verse do make a listener hit the brakes. If they're listening, that is. (Most people don't listen to my songs....)
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Post by Lonnie on Apr 4, 2012 10:36:51 GMT -5
If you stood with your books in a railyard in Terre Haute, you'd probably get run over by a train.... ;D ;D ;D ;D Try just replacing the girl with one more ag/industry image and you're home on this. Then write the song about the girl. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2012 11:31:05 GMT -5
I'll work on replacing the girl image. To paraphrase George W. Bush, this songwriting thing is haaard....
I've written a song about Debs that I never do; it is called "The Bending Cross" and maybe I could work the girl into that and actually start performing the song again. When I think of the girl and Terre Haute, I am reminded of this passage from Debs' speech to the jury at the conclusion of his trial on sedition charges:
I am thinking this morning of the men in the mills and the factories; of the men in the mines and on the railroads. I am thinking of the women who for a paltry wage are compelled to work out their barren lives; of the little children who in this system are robbed of their childhood and in their tender years are seized in the remorseless grasp of Mammon and forced into the industrial dungeons, there to feed the monster machines while they themselves are being starved and stunted, body and soul. I see them dwarfed and diseased and their little lives broken and blasted because in this high noon of Christian civilization money is still so much more important than the flesh and blood of childhood. In very truth gold is god today and rules with pitiless sway in the affairs of men.
That was September 1918. Part of me says things have only gotten worse....
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2012 13:12:14 GMT -5
I heard back from the guy I know who is a columnist for the Terre Haute paper and he didn't seem to think folks would laugh me out of town. He liked the tune, and confirmed that folks still fish for catfish around there and many use a 20-pound line. (Although I watched the episode of "River Monsters" last night in which Jeremy went "noodlin" in Oklahoma and I'm wondering if folks in Indiana do it....)
Anyway, after giving some thought to the matter, I decided to drop the second verse. I stuck a reference to the prairie in the chorus. It might read clunky but it sings just fine if you pronounce it "prair-REE." It sounds better than it reads.
The new version:
On the banks of the Wabash there is a town
Where all of my mem'ries are dear
Through bad times and good times, love lost and found
I want to stay right here
chorus:
Terre Haute, the breeze calls your name
Through the leaves of the sycamore
Take me back to the crossroads on the prairie
Then I shall roam no more
The Wabash flows slow on a hot summer day
Dragonflies hang in the air
Catfish tugs on a 20-pound line
I want to stay right here
(chorus and end)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2012 20:08:17 GMT -5
"I am thinking this morning of the men in the mills and the factories; of the men in the mines and on the railroads. I am thinking of the women who for a paltry wage are compelled to work out their barren lives; of the little children who in this system are robbed of their childhood and in their tender years are seized in the remorseless grasp of Mammon and forced into the industrial dungeons, there to feed the monster machines while they themselves are being starved and stunted, body and soul. I see them dwarfed and diseased and their little lives broken and blasted because in this high noon of Christian civilization money is still so much more important than the flesh and blood of childhood. In very truth gold is god today and rules with pitiless sway in the affairs of men."
Narrowly missed the cut for my longest ever Facebook update. Looking forward to another verse or ten. I miss the girl with her books.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2012 10:56:58 GMT -5
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Post by Marshall on Nov 23, 2012 11:17:17 GMT -5
"The girl with her books" is a very evocative image. Placed where it is in that verse is mysterious. What I immediately saw was a schoolgirl , books clutched to her chest, standing in a railyard or other industrial area, grime on her face ... sort of a charcoal drawing. She's probably worthy of her own song. If I was "driving through the song" (so to speak) I would have hit the brakes when I saw her there and backed up for a better look... I like the girl reference. Romance is a strong pull. I would leave her in. It's the "Labor united, railroads and coal" that seem to be cramming too much in a line. Makes it like a chamber of commerce quote. I'd stick with a more evocative image like the girl and books. Something with some ache. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2014 9:54:46 GMT -5
I sent your tune to my buddy Bob Van Sickel. He teaches Poli Sci at the university in Terra Haute. He is a south paw with plenty of guitars to play. His on, Eli, is lo a songwriter/ singer. You would like these fellows.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2014 5:51:35 GMT -5
A country music line at it's finest, well blended
"Prairie and smokestacks, a girl with her books
A farmer tilling his field
Labor united, railyards and coal
I want to stay right here"
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 22:24:52 GMT -5
Thanks. I've recorded the song twice, with different instrumentation, and left that verse out both times. I may have to stick it back in. That is if I can ever find a place in Kuwait to gig....
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