"Factory Girls"

[Deleted]

Here's a new one, and it is yet another tune from the "prostitute transcript" that I spoke of in the "Jimmy Dorris" and "Terre Haute Waltz" threads.

This song was inspired by a portion of the interview where the woman said she tried working in a factory and lasted about three days. She eventually wound up running a house of prostitution. This is the current draft of the song, and there are still a couple of lines I'm not in love with (like the last line of the first verse, for example) but I thought I would put it out here.

At first, I was doing the song uptempo in a major key and my wife thought it made prostitution look too attractive. So I slowed it down and put it in a minor key and I think it works better. Or at least it takes away some of the glamor. I did want the song to have some irony, though, in that she's saying that there's not enough money in the world for her to work in a factory, yet she would prostitute herself. I tried to be subtle with that.

I should note that the reference to "Mr. Hulman" is Tony Hulman, who owned several businesses in Terre Haute, including Clabber Girl Baking Powder. He later went on to own the Indy 500 (technically, the "Indianapolis Motor Speedway") and the company still owns it today.

So here is the tune and, as always, it is copyright 2012 by David Hanners:

FACTORY GIRLS

She draws back the curtain to watch ‘em walk home from the plant
Those girls never say much and their faces look so sad
They do a lot for little, what they got to show?
There’s better ways to live, that much she says she knows

(chorus)
There’s nothing you could pay her
Not enough money in this world
That’d make her wanna be a factory girl

She left the farm to work for Madam Brown
‘Cause there’s a party every night on the west side of town
Always wears new clothes, shops the best stores
Says the bed is its own prison but it beats a factory floor

(chorus)

Factory girls have husbands; some drop by the house
‘Cause by the time their wives get home, Mr. Hulman’s worn them out
Dress them up in fine clothes, nice perfume and pearls
But beneath it all, they’re still just factory girls

(chorus and end)

[brucemacneill]

Just a question, does "Mr. Hulman’s worn them out" make it too local or could it just be "The factory's worn them out"? I guess I'd wonder if "Madame Brown" is a real person, locally known, too. I wouldn't say it glamorizes prostitution, just states an uncomfortable fact of life, which I suppose is the point.

[Deleted]

May 18, 2012 6:12:53 GMT -5 brucemacneill said:

Just a question, does "Mr. Hulman’s worn them out" make it too local or could it just be "The factory's worn them out"? I guess I'd wonder if "Madame Brown" is a real person, locally known, too. I wouldn't say it glamorizes prostitution, just states an uncomfortable fact of life, which I suppose is the point.

I struggled with the "Mr. Hulman" issue, too, Bruce. On the one hand, I think it is important to localize a story as much as possible, especially in this instance because the song is about a particular place and time, although admittedly I don't emphasize the time aspect at all.

The other side of that, as you note, is that unless you live in and around Terre Haute or are familiar with the history of Clabber Girl baking powder, you're not going to have an idea who "Mr. Hulman" is. That line will probably lose the listener because your brain starts wondering, "Who the hell is Mr. Hulman?" and when the brain starts asking questions while it is listening to a song, it is probably not a good thing.

One possible fix is to introduce Hulman earlier in the song. I'll have to mull that.

When mulling a line in a song, I usually have two tests: WWJPD and WWBMD. The first is "What would John Prine do?" and the second is "What would Bill Morrissey do?" (Or, more accurately, what would've Bill Morrissey done, since he's dead.) When I ran the line through those tests, I figured they'd stick with "Mr. Hulman," although if anybody knows Prine personally and could run this question past him, I'd appreciate it.

If I had a wider audience or planned on selling the song to some big Nashville act, yeah, I would definitely excise "Mr. Hulman." But the chance of me ever doing anything like that is nil.

Madam Brown was indeed a real person, and the madam in the transcript talks about her house.

The whole transcript is filled with stories, and the woman talks so freely about everything in the world, but she doesn't talk much about sex. In fact, she doesn't really say anything about it.

At one point, the interviewer asks her if the women ever went by their own names. Here's her answer:

"Nooo. For godssake, and you never did know where they come from half the time. The only time you'd ever get the truth out of a girl would be some evening just about sundown, they'd be sittin' in that window at 214 facin' the west. They'd start reminiscing out loud. You got more truth accidentally than you ever tried to get on purpose. They would just sit there in that rocking chair and rock and just start talkin' to you, you know, just very nonchalantly telling you the whole works. You'd be surprised how many girls' mother or father come and got their money, brothers. How many girls kept their families. How many of 'em had a no-good pimp hangin' on 'em which I never could figure out. I never could figure out why you should lay down with a dozen men to give one man your money. Now, that don't make sense to me."

There's a whole song in that one paragraph. And she talks like that for 95 pages....

[Deleted]

So if the first verse were re-written to this, would that help explain the "Mr. Hulman" issue?

She draws back the curtain to watch 'em walk home from the plant
Those girls never say much and their faces look so sad
They do a lot for little under Mr. Hulman's eye
Get up, go to work, come home and then you die

That introduces Mr. Hulman earlier, and it also underscores the woman's thought about the drudgery of factory work, particularly in the '20s and '30s, although I don't really deal with the timing issue.

Does that work, or is it at least better?

One of the issues I have with this song is that I originally wrote it in a female voice because I do sometimes perform with a female singer. But that isn't that often and so when I try to do a song written in a female voice, it comes out sounding odd. Or at least odder than usual for me.

[brucemacneill]

IMHO, yes that would probably help.

[Hobson]

Great lyrics and it looks like you'll have lots of inspiration for other songs. I think a minor key is the right choice, unless you're going to do a Bruce Springsteen or Bob Seeger approach.

I can relate to the attitude about factory jobs. Not so much to the career choice.

[Deleted]

Thanks. I debuted the song at Lonnie's "Wednesday Sessions" at the Coffee Grounds in Falcon Heights (home of Bill Hammond's open mike) and it seemed to go over well. Then again, I had Lonnie add some lead and he makes everything sound better.

[Lonnie]

The song would have been just as good without me fumbling around. Nice work, Hanners.