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Post by Bassman on Jul 4, 2012 16:02:50 GMT -5
I know some of you have daughters out here. The other day my wife told me, that my baby girl has noticed the opposite sex. She starts High School this fall. Anyways she meet this boy just before school ended this year. She has been talking to him on and off, though out the summer. She told my wife that she wants too maybe go to the movies, and hang out with him once in awhile. I'm having mixed emotions about this, after all she is my baby girl. It was much easier with the boys. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Post by Doug on Jul 4, 2012 16:06:01 GMT -5
Act dumb and try to do nothing. No matter what you do it will be wrong. ;D
I had good luck with being that house where they shoot all the time.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2012 16:15:35 GMT -5
I punted and took the direct approach with my oldest. Claire was 14 when Juliet was born, and we made Claire change her share of diapers. I told her, "If you have unprotected sex, you get one of these full time, and Mom and I aren't helping." My version of Scared Straight. The only other thing you can do is trust them to make smart choices. You sure as hell can't make the interest in the opposite sex go away.
Now, whatever you do, do NOT EVER entertain a thought along the lines of "man, I know what I was thinking about girls when I was that age" or you'll never let your kid out of the house...
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Post by Lonnie on Jul 4, 2012 16:16:27 GMT -5
As a former teenage lead guitarist in a pretty popular local band, the best advice I can offer is to lock her in the basement and home school her until she's 21.
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Post by Supertramp78 on Jul 4, 2012 16:19:24 GMT -5
teach her to play banjo. that should do it.
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Post by Russell Letson on Jul 4, 2012 16:20:43 GMT -5
Or accordion. Or tuba. The possibilities are endless.
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Post by Bassman on Jul 4, 2012 16:46:47 GMT -5
Now, whatever you do, do NOT EVER entertain a thought along the lines of man, I know what I was thinking about girls when I was that age
Thats one of the problems
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Post by RickW on Jul 4, 2012 16:47:24 GMT -5
As the father of three young ladies, 23, 16, and 14, all of them quite attractive, all I can say is, I don't know what to say. It's going to happen. All you can do is hopefully what you have done: instilled enough common sense that she won't get into trouble. I don't want them to get pregnant or acquire an STD. I have told them that sex is not something to be taken lightly or entered into without consideration. I have told them that it's best to enter into relationships with people they are comfortable with and like for something more than the fact that they look good. I think I have been relatively successful in all that, but it's damned hard to tell, and there's nothing like youthful hormones to addle the brain.
Truthfully, once they are 18-19, it's really none of my business what they do, and if they have reached the 'interested in boys stage,' that time is not far off.
Saying no, and putting your foot down, instead of a long, carefully planned retreat, is absolutely the wrong answer.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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Post by omaha on Jul 4, 2012 16:49:05 GMT -5
If you kill just once and bury him in the backyard, word gets around.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2012 16:58:26 GMT -5
teach her to play banjo. that should do it. CRAP! Tramp beat me to it.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2012 17:00:58 GMT -5
Make sure you just happen to be cleaning a pistol when he comes over.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 4, 2012 17:21:57 GMT -5
Now that I've made my joke response.
Make your presence known but don't intimidate the boy, that will just get you in the doghouse with all the females in the family. Most of the real problem is you not the boy, you're just being the protective male.
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Post by Cosmic Wonder on Jul 4, 2012 17:39:43 GMT -5
I'm thinking a banjo, accordion and tuba simultaneously, while cleaning your shotgun.
Truthfully, good luck. My daughter is 17, and has been seeing her young man for about 6 months now, and for me, it is a challenge. He is a nice kid, going off to college in August, but he is a guy. And my beautiful, straight A science student good kid daughter just disobeyed us for the first time when she had him over to our house for dinner while we were out of town. :-(
Good luck.
Mike
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Post by mccoyblues on Jul 4, 2012 20:13:34 GMT -5
All you can do is raise them to the best of your ability. Teach them the difference between wrong and right, show them by example what is acceptable behavior and how to recognize when the line has been crossed and make sure they understand that everyone has rules they need to follow and make sure they understand that consequences are real when they aren't.
Stay involved in their lives and talk to them about everything. Then let them go and see how it works out.
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Post by Fingerplucked on Jul 4, 2012 20:31:52 GMT -5
I know some of you have daughters out here. The other day my wife told me, that my baby girl has noticed the opposite sex. She starts High School this fall. Anyways she meet this boy just before school ended this year. She has been talking to him on and off, though out the summer. She told my wife that she wants too maybe go to the movies, and hang out with him once in awhile. I'm having mixed emotions about this, after all she is my baby girl. It was much easier with the boys. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'd take it as a positive sign that she talked to her mom about what she's thinking and what she wants to do. It could be much worse. Going to the movies is no big deal. It's the realization that she's growing up and all that comes with it that's scary. Haley's going to be 16 next month. She's only had one "serious" boyfriend, meaning that she went to prom with him rather than just crushing on him from afar. But before prom she heard that he was a "player" and suspected that she represented nothing more than a potential conquest. She decided she'd follow through and go to prom, but she'd break up with him afterward. She did. I was happy. As parents I think we're a little over protective. I keep trying to remind myself of what it was like to be 15, and some of the stuff I was up to. Luckily, Haley's a lot smarter than I was at that age.
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Post by Village Idiot on Jul 4, 2012 20:41:38 GMT -5
You've raised your daughter for a long time now. The best thing to do now is to trust that you've taught her well, and then trust her.
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Post by sekhmet on Jul 4, 2012 20:42:39 GMT -5
Isn't thirteen a little young to be going on a date? How old fashioned am I? Group get togethers are safer. Thirteen and fourteen year olds are BABIES.
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Post by millring on Jul 4, 2012 20:48:14 GMT -5
I had my girls spayed.
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Post by Ann T on Jul 4, 2012 20:56:52 GMT -5
Make sure you just happen to be cleaning a pistol when he comes over. I actually did that once about 20 years ago, when a horse trainer came over to ask me for money when I was home alone. It was a .45 long Colt revolver, very conspicuously big. The visitor stood across the room and there were no problems. I eventually gave the gun back to my Mom, who keeps it in her bedroom. As a former teenage girl, I recall that my parents kept me on a pretty short leash and made it pretty clear to me what was acceptable behavior and what was not. Lots of Sunday school. Wholesome teenage girl magazines. Reputation as competitive skeet shooter (Olympic final trials) who owned a 12 gauge shotgun. Glasses. Not exactly "date bait", I was told. I guess that kept the guys at bay and sort of solved the problem. Sigh.
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Post by Russell Letson on Jul 4, 2012 23:05:55 GMT -5
Glasses a disincentive? I think every girl I ever dated wore glasses.
Wait, does that mean they couldn't see very well--?
I suppose that explains a lot about my social life, ages 15-25.
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