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Post by Bassman on Aug 1, 2012 7:54:10 GMT -5
With all the social media out there on the Internet, is it wrong to look up your old girlfriends or boyfriends just to see what's been going on with them? Or whatever happen to them? Back when I was dating there was none of this stuff. With the kids today they just friend everyone now. I think my kids have like 500 - 600 friends on their Facebook page, and I'm pretty sure they don't talk to any of them. Would you be upset if wife or husband was friended by an ex?
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Post by mccoyblues on Aug 1, 2012 8:19:59 GMT -5
There is a HUGE difference between a facebook friend status and a real relationship. Your kids don't have 500 friends, they probably haven't met 10% of them in person. The term "friend" is used rather loosely in the social media environment.
If my wife was facebook stalking an old flame just to see if their life is more miserable than hers then I would have no problem with that at all. I do the same thing. I see no harm in saying "hello, how are you" to an old friend. Isn't that why social media was invented in the first place?
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Post by dradtke on Aug 1, 2012 8:37:10 GMT -5
That depends entirely on the old relationship. I'm in touch casually with a few girls I dated years ago (most of them are grandmothers now) and it's fun to see what they're up to. But there's one woman I've pointedly avoided searching for, because the potential can of worms wouldn't be worth satisfying my curiosity.
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Post by ducktrapper on Aug 1, 2012 9:18:54 GMT -5
There's a lot of that going around. Be aware that digging up bones may cause splinters.
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Post by Fingerplucked on Aug 1, 2012 9:26:49 GMT -5
I had a lot of fun finding old friends when I first joined facebook. Most of them were guys. I don't think I found any old girlfriends. There was one friend of an old girlfriend, but that doesn't count.
It didn't take more than a few months to realize, one by one, why we had fallen out of touch in the first place. Once we got past the reminiscing stage, we didn't have much to talk about.
Oh, and Dave Blake and I are still trying to figure out why we're in the Junior High yearbook posing with the soccer team. Neither of us remember being on the team or posing for the picture.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 10:23:08 GMT -5
I'm friends with a couple of girls I dated once or twice, but there was never a serious relationship. Just casual. I did find that one my old "serious" flames is on FB, and have seen a couple of pictures, but haven't tried to friend or contact her.
I know my wife wouldn't appreciate me being in contact with an old flame. Why take a chance of causing trust issues at home?
Then again, I rarely login into FB. I really don't care about who scored what on this or that game, or what their cat looks like.
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Post by Bassman on Aug 1, 2012 10:36:44 GMT -5
The people I would really like to find are the guys I hung around with in college, and would go on spring break with, those guys were messed up !!!! Found one on Facebook but he didn't know what happened to any of the others. There was this one guy who played the drums ( he was really good and as wild as Keith moon. ) the more I think about it, he's probably dead now. I've been married for 20 some years now and I don't think my wife would care. Her boss is her old boyfriends brother who she almost married.
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Post by omaha on Aug 1, 2012 10:54:20 GMT -5
Good friend of mine got good and liquored up a few years ago. Went online, and one thing led to another and he ended up finding an old flame on FB. They had been quite the item 20 years ago...lived together for a couple of years, etc.
Fast forward six months, he was getting a divorce, selling his house, cashing in his 401k to pay off his soon-to-be-ex, and moved halfway across the country. Now he's married to the old flame. By all accounts, he is happy...in the "50 years old, dead broke, living hand to mouth but at least I have my old girlfriend back" sort of way.
It was a lovely wedding, though.
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Post by Supertramp78 on Aug 1, 2012 11:29:21 GMT -5
It isn't wrong. I only have one former girlfriend and we are still connected via Facebook. Kelly is fully aware of my high school flame and knows all too well why we broke up so the she REALLY isn't threatened. I guess it all comes down to how secure your current partner is in your relationship. If keeping in touch with an ex is an issue, I would say the issue would still be there even if you didn't keep in touch with the ex.
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Post by brucemacneill on Aug 1, 2012 11:34:06 GMT -5
" I guess it all comes down to how secure your current partner is in your relationship."
That's how I feel about it and even after 42 years of marriage I don't think it would be a good idea for me to "Friend" an ex. I think that Mary thinks she's been living in another woman's shadow for 43 years and there's nothing I could do or say that would change that. She was kind of upset when an ex showed up at my mother's wake. Fortunately, it wasn't the ex-fiancee.
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Post by AlanC on Aug 1, 2012 11:34:06 GMT -5
There is "wrong" and there is "not-smart". Befriending any female that I dated in the past would be both in the eyes of my red-headed wife.
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Post by Lonnie on Aug 1, 2012 12:20:29 GMT -5
Yeah, well... Facebook is one thing. It's REALLY wrong (and I've done it twice) to write a song with an old girlfriend's name in it.
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Post by millring on Aug 1, 2012 12:22:46 GMT -5
Yeah, well... Facebook is one thing. It's REALLY wrong (and I've done it twice) to write a song with an old girlfriend's name in it. "...but honey, she was the only one I could think of to rhyme with 'orange' " |
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Post by Lonnie on Aug 1, 2012 12:38:19 GMT -5
I tried that... next comes ducking, followed quickly by running away...
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Post by millring on Aug 1, 2012 12:40:51 GMT -5
I tried that... next comes ducking, You couldn't think of anything that rhymes with "ducking"? |
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Post by Lonnie on Aug 1, 2012 12:42:57 GMT -5
That's it John... I'm sending you the bill to get the coffee out of my laptop.
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Post by Ann T on Aug 1, 2012 14:32:04 GMT -5
Any contact is asking for trouble. In years past, I had several BFs who pulled the "well, I've known her longer than I've known you" excuse. Or, the exceedingly lame, "we're just good friends." I was neither amused nor impressed with that logic. It is B.S. and spells trouble for the current relationship.
Addendum: Even lamer excuse: "Half the world is female, are you saying I shouldn't be able to talk to half the people on the planet?"
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Post by Fingerplucked on Aug 1, 2012 14:44:00 GMT -5
About 2/3 of my facebook friends are female. None of them are old flames. Most of them, I think, came from the Kindle pages. I don't know who some of them are. When I see a string of puppy, kitty, baby or cute sayings posted and I can't remember who the person is posting, I unfriend them. Otherwise, as long as they sit quietly and keep their heads down, I just leave them on the list.
I've noticed my friend list has been growing lately, but I haven't friended anyone. I'm not sure how that works.
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Post by dradtke on Aug 1, 2012 15:57:02 GMT -5
My wife and I have no problems with any of eadh others old relationships. In fact, she once dated a friend of mine who later was best man at our wedding. The problem would be if any of the "old" relationships refreshed into "new" relationships.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2012 18:18:30 GMT -5
My wife and I have no problems with any of eadh others old relationships. In fact, she once dated a friend of mine who later was best man at our wedding. The problem would be if any of the "old" relationships refreshed into "new" relationships. Same here and if I policed a girlfriend's facebook friendships, or she mine, that would be a troubling indication of the health of ours. <to> |
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