Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2012 17:12:17 GMT -5
Like Tramp, I've been very lucky. Marriage has been, without hesitation, the best part of my life. Not hard or difficult at all...whenever we bump heads, it rarely has anything to do with each other, and our frustration can be measured in minutes, not hours or days. I've had a enough friends end up in far different situations to realize that I'm the outlier, and that for many it is hard work, and for others, beyond any hope that hard work could remedy. Knowing this makes me thankful for what I have...something that seems so natural to me, that I could easily take it for granted.
|
|
|
Post by Fingerplucked on Nov 19, 2012 18:10:15 GMT -5
Fingerplucked can't believe your going to leave us hanging, this sounds like a classic story !! its got everything beer, women, and a volleyball. You have to tell at least some of it. Dont leave us hanging !!! Ok, a little bit. The volleyball was just volleyball. The beer was just beer, although I had had a lot of it. The girl who wanted me I didn't want. She was just for sex. Oddly enough, her father knew what I was like and seemed to approve. The girl I wanted didn't want me. But her sister did. But I didn't want her sister. Wait, that's not helping... So the girl I didn't want was pretty clingy. She was hanging on me while I talked to her father in the pub after volleyball. Annoyed with the clingy girl, I started circulating to see if I could find a nice replacement. But I found out most women won't talk to you when you have another hanging on your arm. My future wife Jadene fit in that category. She thought maybe I was a jerk. She was certain that I was pretty drunk. She quickly lost interest and went to the bathroom. I didn't know Jadene yet, but I knew her sister. When Jadene left the table, her sister told me I didn't have to sell her. (I don't know if that meant with clingy-girl or without.) I ran into Jadene a few more times, usually at a party, usually drunk (me), and usually with clingy girl next to me. Jadene couldn't figure me out and wasn't sure she liked me (at all), but she was impressed with my perseverance, even if she did have to put up with clingy-girl hanging on her every word. I don't remember how I got rid of clingy-girl, who was nice enough, just . . . clingy. It didn't go badly though, which was good, since I worked with her father. After a half dozen attempts, Jadene finally agreed to go out with me, less clingy-girl, of course.
|
|
|
Post by prodigalone on Nov 19, 2012 20:19:45 GMT -5
18 years. and counting. that's like 50 in gay years.
|
|
|
Post by Doug on Nov 19, 2012 20:29:12 GMT -5
18 years. and counting. that's like 50 in gay years. Now that's funny. Sadly I'm sure it's true, but it's still funny.
|
|
|
Post by xyrn on Nov 20, 2012 2:51:27 GMT -5
I've been married 14 years now, met my wife in band (we both played clarinet) in HS. I'd do it again, she's great; we've had our share of arguments, nothing MAJOR, just quibbly crap. We had different up-bringing, I was always taught my opinions matter and that I could be anything I set my mind to, and also that work isn't everything and that life is about the journey so take some time to smell the roses. On the other hand she came from a broken home and was taught to comply, don't complain, go to work and work hard even if you absolutely hate your job, and don't make waves. So, when I do something that irks her instead of calling me on it right away (which I would prefer) she holds it in and waits until there's a list of 3-4 things that are finally ticking her off so bad it's plainly obvious that something is wrong, then it all comes out and I'm defending (or apologizing) for somethings a few weeks old. Plus, I wouldn't be happy or who I am if I didn't take time out to play guitar, or work on a sculpture - even if the vents need to be vacuumed, or there is a squeeky chair that needs the dowels glued, or if I've got a month of receipts and paper scraps all over the dresser. (I'm not messy, I don't think, but I just don't prioritize de-cluttering.) Anyway, I really didn't mean to start airing this out, but I guess I'm trying to get at that even if there are some things in marraige that are difficult, it's the best thing I ever did.
|
|
|
Post by Village Idiot on Nov 20, 2012 12:00:02 GMT -5
Congratulations, Bassman. Life can be grand.
|
|
|
Post by Bassman on Nov 20, 2012 13:31:19 GMT -5
"I would never get marry again, its just too hard." Interesting. Being married has never been hard or difficult. When I say hard or difficult this is what I mean.... My wife and I, never had ANY help from either sides of our families, ( NOT like today where the grandparents will watch the kids for awhile or help out ) I would work days, drive over to where my wife works pick up the kids and she would work all night getting home around midnight. During the day she would take care of the kids, I would take care of the kids at night. Both of our jobs also included weekends. We would barely see each other for weeks, only in passing or talking on the phone. if we asked either one of our folks to watch the kids, they would ask " How long are you going to be gone for? " It was never easy, like for some people. Then you would have to deal with the extended family around the holidays, money issues, vacations, school, after school activies, etc... today we have 3 wonderful well behaved children two in college, and one in high school. and if you think it gets cheaper as they get older, it doesn't, the bigger the are the more it cost you. We have finally gotten to the point were we can go places together, and not worry about our children.
|
|
|
Post by Bassman on Nov 20, 2012 14:47:45 GMT -5
Fingerplucked can't believe your going to leave us hanging, this sounds like a classic story !! its got everything beer, women, and a volleyball. You have to tell at least some of it. Dont leave us hanging !!! Ok, a little bit. The volleyball was just volleyball. The beer was just beer, although I had had a lot of it. The girl who wanted me I didn't want. She was just for sex. Oddly enough, her father knew what I was like and seemed to approve. The girl I wanted didn't want me. But her sister did. But I didn't want her sister. Wait, that's not helping... So the girl I didn't want was pretty clingy. She was hanging on me while I talked to her father in the pub after volleyball. Annoyed with the clingy girl, I started circulating to see if I could find a nice replacement. But I found out most women won't talk to you when you have another hanging on your arm. My future wife Jadene fit in that category. She thought maybe I was a jerk. She was certain that I was pretty drunk. She quickly lost interest and went to the bathroom. I didn't know Jadene yet, but I knew her sister. When Jadene left the table, her sister told me I didn't have to sell her. (I don't know if that meant with clingy-girl or without.) I ran into Jadene a few more times, usually at a party, usually drunk (me), and usually with clingy girl next to me. Jadene couldn't figure me out and wasn't sure she liked me (at all), but she was impressed with my perseverance, even if she did have to put up with clingy-girl hanging on her every word. I don't remember how I got rid of clingy-girl, who was nice enough, just . . . clingy. It didn't go badly though, which was good, since I worked with her father. After a half dozen attempts, Jadene finally agreed to go out with me, less clingy-girl, of course. Fingerplucked I take it there were two sets of sisters that you knew. your wife and her sister and another set of sisters. I was going to go alittle Jerry Springer on you, and mixing the two sets of sisters into one set. But I didnt know if you would go for my off the wall/crude humor and I didnt want to overstep any boundaries. But all I have to say is you were a stud monkey back in your day.
|
|
|
Post by Fingerplucked on Nov 20, 2012 14:55:45 GMT -5
Just one set of sisters. Unless clingy-girl had a sister that I didn't know about.
I was living the life I always wanted to live back then. Or so I thought. It got boring after a while. I was getting sick of having sex for the sake of having sex. I wanted more. And I found it with Jadene.
There are still times, though, when I look back and try to remember just what was so bad about those days.
Oh, wait, I just remembered a set of sisters. They were my boss' daughters. There was some satisfaction in those two, beyond just the obvious.
|
|
|
Post by Fingerplucked on Nov 20, 2012 14:57:06 GMT -5
Bassman, I almost forgot: there are no boundaries. Feel free to overstep any time you like.
|
|
|
Post by Bassman on Nov 20, 2012 15:24:38 GMT -5
There are still times, though, when I look back and try to remember just what was so bad about those days.
What could possible be so bad about those days, That's what having fun is all about and evently, like you said you get to the point where you have enough and want something different.
Now that both of my boys are in college, I can't help but thing of all the great times I had when I was their age. Picking up girls in the bars and taking them back to the dorms, The frat parties, Spring Break with your buddies. Going to concerts. Hell I went to a Rick Springfield concert because it was like shooting fish in a barrel when it came to picking up girls. and as I got older it was even more fun. Don't know if you know where Islamorada is in the Florida keys, but I was actually told by the authories to leave the island. good times.
|
|
|
Post by Fingerplucked on Nov 20, 2012 15:28:40 GMT -5
I think you win. I never got kicked out of a state for having too much sex.
|
|
|
Post by Bassman on Nov 20, 2012 15:56:08 GMT -5
I think it was more or less too much drinking, even though I was there with three other girls.
But I also wanted to say when I was in high school I wasn't that popular, ( people knew who I was ) but when I went to college it all started to come together for me. The guy who lived across the hall from me was a drummer, (a few years older then me, and had his own band ) they would play at some of the bars in town, He was the one who taught me how to play the bass and would let me play a few songs with his band. I just remember some of the "cool kids" from high school watching me on that little stage. That was a rush, and yes I banged those 'Cool Girls" But I have to say there were a few girls ( Maybe one) along the way I wish I would have gotten to know better, and given the relationship more of a chance.
|
|
|
Post by Fingerplucked on Nov 20, 2012 16:12:37 GMT -5
I didn't know many girls in high school, and then shortly afterward got my girlfriend pregnant (someone I had met from the band I was in), and soon had a wife and baby. We were married seven years. She wanted a divorce, I didn't. I took it pretty hard at first. Then I looked around. I was working in a company with about 1,000 employees. The average age was probably right around 29. That's when I realized I was working in a candy factory with young, good looking women coming and going all the time. I made it a policy to talk to meet any good looking women during their first week. The biggest problem soon became how to pay for dating three or four women at the same time. My method was to spend big time on the front end, then let them pay for something, and then never pull out my wallet again. It worked.
I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about it.
|
|
|
Post by Bassman on Nov 21, 2012 4:52:04 GMT -5
Wish I would have thought of that, pure genius. Sorry about the divorce, my nephew got married last year he just turned 19, told both of my boys don't even think about doing anything like that, go out and enjoy your life. My wife told me a few months ago he was taking some meds for depression, seems he wanted to hang out with his friends and his wife wanted to always tag along. To much stress at such a young age.
|
|
|
Post by Rob Hanesworth on Nov 21, 2012 9:51:03 GMT -5
I married the right woman both times.
My late wife and I met through a church statewide youth group, dated off and on for 6 years while I matured, and were married 26-1/2 years until her death from breast cancer.
My current wife, who was divorced, had know my first wife as we all went to the same church. Now I have been married for almost 12 more years and Friday the combined brood will gather for our Thanksgiving celebration. I am thankful that two wonderful women have shared my life.
|
|
|
Post by Rob Hanesworth on Nov 21, 2012 9:58:08 GMT -5
Plus, I wouldn't be happy or who I am if I didn't take time out to play guitar, or work on a sculpture - even if the vents need to be vacuumed, or there is a squeeky chair that needs the dowels glued, or if I've got a month of receipts and paper scraps all over the dresser. (I'm not messy, I don't think, but I just don't prioritize de-cluttering.) Sometimes it takes a wife a while to understand that if a husband says he will fix something, he will fix it, and she doesn't need to keep reminding him every six months.
|
|