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Post by Marshall on Nov 29, 2012 15:03:09 GMT -5
Just pretty much finished up a song. It started with a single chord. Somebody in a song critique circle showed me a funky chord, X04210. It's some weird F or A something. The song is in the key of C. I chatted about the chord shapes in the cafe about a month ago. Well I turned it into a song. I'm calling it, "The Interview" at the moment. It's a song postured as a romantic involvement, but the real back story is a job interview. Here's a link to a quicky recording: www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=12025294&q=hiWords are: What can I say To make up your mind Don’t want you to chose One of those other guys I would do anything for you Oh, I will promise you the moon If you want me to What do you say I’d love to be with you (Chorus) In this game of chance we choose Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose The cards are played, it’s up to you. What can I do To help you decide This our 3rd lunch date Since we first met on-line Ya want someone that fits your plan Oh, with a strong and gentle hand Well then I’m your man What do you say I’m here at your command (Chorus) In this game of chance we choose Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose The cards are played, it’s up to you. It’s up to you.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2012 10:00:24 GMT -5
Love the melody. Like the lyrics, too, but please allow me to offer an unsolicited thought or two.
One thought I have is adding a third stanza that makes it clear -- in stark business terms -- that it is about a job interview. Spend the first two stanzas speaking in terms of a would-be suitor wooing a lover. Then come in with the third stanza showing it is about getting a job, and leave the listener with the realization that wooing a prospective lover and wooing a prospective employer share many similarities in the modern age. (Except you don't sleep with the employer to seal the deal....)
Granted, such an approach might move the song into the "novelty" category, but I think audiences would eat it up. Most of us have companions and jobs, and most of us have spent time trying to get both. Sometimes several of each.
Otherwise, I'd lose the word "first" out of the fourth line of the second verse. "Met" implies it was the first meeting, so "first" is superfluous. With your fine singing style, dropping the word allows you to linger on "met."
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Post by Marshall on Dec 7, 2012 14:47:46 GMT -5
. . . , One thought I have is adding a third stanza that makes it clear -- in stark business terms -- that it is about a job interview. . . . , I've gone back and forth on that. I don't think I'm adding anything. I have a few tweaks to lyrics I play with. I'll probably change the name and just call it "It's Up To You." I sort of want the language to be duplicitous. Nobody's gonna listen anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2012 15:05:04 GMT -5
I listen....
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2013 14:51:23 GMT -5
I listened too, I`m not much of a critic Marshall, I think it all works fine, the only trouble I had with it is that...on-line part, that doesn`t feel right to me. just my thought.
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