Some Days [lyrics]

[Deleted]

we all have lost in love and life"

so many days have come and gone and I say I`m alright...
so many nights I`ve spent alone
and your memory is back.

Chorus:
Some days I wish
Some days go by
Some days are just hanging on.
Some days are gentle... turn a little blue
someday you`ll think of me too.
Some days were famous
Juliet and her man
some days we never existed.

Verse 2
is it easier for you
when it all comes back again.
is it like your going through
all the little things that we lost.


Chorus:
Some days We walked
stood in the rain
some day we`ll learn to forgive.

Some days a must
Some days a never
Some days it just will not fade.

Some days I worry
Some days I pray
Someday We`ll meet again..

"baby I`ve loved you forever...
"baby I needed you forever...

Chorus:
Some days I wish
Some days go by
Some days are just hanging on.

Some days a must
Some days a never
Some days it just will not fade.

Some days I worry
Some days I pray
Someday We`ll meet again..


Copyright 2012 Second-hand Hearts Vincent

"question my abilities..never my heart"

[Deleted]

I preface this with three thoughts:
1) Nice melody;

2) Don't fear re-writing. As Tom T. Hall says, any song worth writing is worth re-writing;

3) The following comments are the opinion of one person who does not make his living from music because if he had to, he'd starve. And I like things like warm food, insurance, a roof over my head, etc. So keep in mind the following is opinion and can be readily ignored.

With that, here goes:

My initial thought is that I wanted the first chorus to end at "Someday you'll think of me, too." That's really what the song is about, is it not? The protagonist has lost his love and he's sending this prayer, this lament, into the ether, hoping that at some point down the road, he and his love will re-connect, but that has to start with her thinking about him. (I'm assuming genders here.) The three lines that come after that -- Some days were famous/Juliet and her man/some days we never existed -- just seem superfluous to me. You've made the point really well with "Someday you'll think of me, too," so why go on?

When the second and third verses rolled around, I wanted to hear that line again. And I didn't, so I was a bit disappointed. But that's just me. I would posit that good songwriting often boils down to get in, tell your story, make your point, get out. I worry that the chorus lingers longer than it has to to tell the story, especially if you've got a great line like "Someday you'll think of me, too" that can punctuate the end of it. Leave the listener with a line to think about, and that line seems much more wistful and unresolved (which is good in this context) than "Someday we'll meet again."

I offer this in good faith, but it is one guy's honest opinion and you should feel free to ignore it.

[Deleted]

hi dhanners..thanks you for giving this a listen. I never ignore critique, that and advise I put in a folder with the lyrics for reference when I decide to re-write it all helps. I just got tired of hearing this song so I put it away..thanks again for commenting.

[Marshall]

Very lovely presentation. I get the impression you're pretending to look for a critique but really more interested in getting clicks on your finished music productions.

That being said, it's lovely. Nice recording. Guitars and vocals sound very professional. Lyrically a couple things stuck out for me. I wanted a rhyme at the end of each verse. But you didn't go there. To me that was a little disquieting.

Also your choruses are different each time. That's a mistake I fall into myself. It's OK to bring in small changes as each trip through the repeated elements goes by. But making whole-sale changes to the chorus can break the listener's connection to the song. I'm not saying that happens here. But it's something to consider.

[Deleted]

thanks Marshall for stopping in, thats a the first time I`ve heard that comment, I consider all comments. I have a few songs this is the only song I have public. I`m not thrilled with it yet. there are far better ways to get clicks on music. sometimes I worry people think I`m taking advantage of their skills, not to worried about clicks this song will change. I`ve heard so much about the lyric. to much chorus, to many some days., and the comments here. I`ll take the link out so you will know my words have iron..thanks again for your thoughts.

[Marshall]

No, no, no. Please don't take out the link. A song lyric without sound is just partial song. No review/critique can be effective without it.

Sorry if I made a fuss. That's a mighty fine production you have there. Take that as a BIG compliment.

Great voice too.

[Deleted]

its ok Marshall, I do know what your talking about I`ve been to sites where they crank out lyrics faster than you can read them, I don`t have that talent. I`m pretty green at writing songs..I have to be hit with the hammer before I can tell you how bad it hurts...lol that being said I`m not the best critic, and really can`t offer to much help to others, its so hard for me to comment if I can`t hear some meter to the lyric. [the way they intended the song]

Hey Marshall let me pick on you a little..I have this song i`m working on now, maybe you can listen to it and make a few segs. I think I can get it to you in a message here so I don`t load this board up with bits and pieces. its me singing and playing so don`t expect to much..if you don`t have time its cool. let me know.