Nothing Will Ever Be Right in This World

[davidhanners]

So I was in another "36 Hours" songwriting competition today. It's hosted by a local music magazine, RIFT (www.riftmagazine.com) and the topic this time, given to us 36 hours before the show, was "money." I didn't win, but here's the tune I wrote:

NOTHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT IN THIS WORLD
© 2007 by David Hanners

She looked stern as a warden as the hour draws near
It's our execution we're witnessing here
No final appeal or petition she’ll hear
Make my case but it does no good
'Cause nothing will ever be right in this world

What money I had, I pissed away
So unlike her, she always did say
But I paid for my sins and I never did stray
Come to square up but it does no good
'Cause nothing will ever be right in this world

She said I could take nothing for my journey
Neither staves nor scrip, neither bread nor money
This road is long and I find no relief
Promise to change but it does no good
'Cause nothing will ever be right in this world

Give me money for the field, I will bury my dead
Engrave the tombstones with the words that she said
I bear the scar of every tear that she shed
I wipe them away but it does no good
'Cause nothing will ever be right in this world

Yeah, come judgment day it does no good
'Cause nothing will ever be right in this world
Nothing will ever be right in this world
Nothing will ever be right in this world

[Cornflake]

David, I've read this one several times. You're a very good songwriter and I've liked a lot of yours, but why write a song like this? Besides the fact that there was the event, I mean. It's well written but I can't get past my resistance to the title, so oft repeated. I disagree with the premise. There's a place for bleak songs but this seems to offer nothing but bleakness.

If you were a talentless schlub I wouldn't say this but you're very good. This one won't be one of my favorite David Hanners songs.

[davidhanners]

I appreciate the comments Cornflake. Aside from the contest, I wrote it because, basically, nothing will ever be right in this world. Some of us just never get ahead. Some of us have been robbed of the ones we love. Some of us just try and try to do the right things and it doesn't get rewarded. Some of us stare at the future and realize it is all pretty futile and useless. For some of us, nothing will ever be right in this world.

Hence the song.

[Marshall]

I'm OK with the concept of a downer song. In fact I really like some of them. "New York Minute" off Don Henley's "End of Innosense recording ended up being my fav song on the disk. I think the listener can hear it and feel empathy with the singer and at least say to themselves "there but for the grace of God go I" (or some other similar pithy comment.)

I like the A, A, A, A song form. Not the usual verse/chorus thing. The last line repetetive refrain is a good form. It allows for each verse to further flesh out for the listener a new aspect of meaning of the refrain.

In this case, I'm a little confused by the story, though. The "stern as a warden as the hour draws near" is a nice metaphor, but it was so strong I missed the real meaning for the first couple readings.

The reference to money is only passing. So, I can see where the committe it might not choose it as a money winner. *smug smirk*

Nothing else to say.

[Cornflake]

David, if you needed to write it, you needed to write it. Hope I didn't sound too negative.