Post by Kramster on Sept 30, 2014 20:52:51 GMT -5
The wife came home early and found her husband in bed making love to a very attractive young woman.
She cried, “You're a disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to your faithful wife, the mother of your children. I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!”
The husband replied, “Hang on there just a minute so I can at least explain what happened.”
She sobbed, “Fine! Go ahead, but these will be the last words you'll say to me!”
So the husband began -
"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift."
"She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her."
"I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she had not eaten for three days."
"So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night. The ones you wouldn't eat because you were afraid you would put on weight."
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested she take a shower. While she was doing that, I noticed that her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I threw them away."
"Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for several years and don't wear because you say they are too tight."
"I also gave her the lingerie that was your anniversay present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste."
"I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her. And I also gave her those boots that you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair just like them."
The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Thank you so very much. Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
She cried, “You're a disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to your faithful wife, the mother of your children. I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!”
The husband replied, “Hang on there just a minute so I can at least explain what happened.”
She sobbed, “Fine! Go ahead, but these will be the last words you'll say to me!”
So the husband began -
"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady asked me for a lift."
"She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her."
"I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she had not eaten for three days."
"So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night. The ones you wouldn't eat because you were afraid you would put on weight."
"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested she take a shower. While she was doing that, I noticed that her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I threw them away."
"Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for several years and don't wear because you say they are too tight."
"I also gave her the lingerie that was your anniversay present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste."
"I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her. And I also gave her those boots that you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair just like them."
The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Thank you so very much. Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
