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Post by Doug on May 26, 2015 11:13:44 GMT -5
Fighter Pilot Johnny
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny 's whore."
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 14:38:16 GMT -5
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Post by millring on May 27, 2015 16:13:22 GMT -5
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big
event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she
would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic,
but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to
get some condoms.*
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the
boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it
being his first time and all.*
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girl friend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents,
come on in!' They went into the dining room to where the girl's parents
are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girl friend leans over and
whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.
'The boy turns and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist.'
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 16:16:37 GMT -5
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Post by drlj on May 27, 2015 17:01:41 GMT -5
Both quite good.
What does NSFW mean?
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Post by billhammond on May 27, 2015 17:06:51 GMT -5
Both quite good. What does NSFW mean? In your case, it means Not Safe For the Wife. |
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Post by drlj on May 27, 2015 17:46:47 GMT -5
Both quite good. What does NSFW mean? In your case, it means Not Safe For the Wife. Barb says it would be my safety in danger. |
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Post by RickW on May 28, 2015 0:28:46 GMT -5
Heh
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Post by TKennedy on May 28, 2015 10:29:21 GMT -5
How about the duck that walks into the pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms.
"Want me to put those on your bill?" Says the pharmacist.
"What kind of duck do you think I am?" replies the duck.
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Post by Greg B on May 28, 2015 11:11:27 GMT -5
A woman says to her husband "I love you".
The husband asked "is this you or the wine talking?"
"It's me", she said, "talking to the wine."
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Post by RickW on May 28, 2015 21:35:14 GMT -5
A woman says to her husband "I love you". The husband asked "is this you or the wine talking?" "It's me", she said, "talking to the wine." Ouch. There may be some truth in that.  |
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