Twelve-bar blues

[Cornflake]

I've gone back and forth on this one. I know this isn't a first-rate song. I don't know whether it's an okay song (which is okay) or a dud. That's because I don't know if it communicates anything, or if it does whether it's worth communicating. So tell me.

Summer's humid days came numbling back
On spider legs emerging from a crack
Mary's fluid curves tattooed his mind
All the rest was dreary and unkind
Mother brayed instructions and demands
Father just kept staring at his hands

As clouds of iron flattened one more day
A distant thunder drum began to play
Rock and roll came through a radio
From somewhere that he knew he had to go
There where every ugly street converged
An inkling of a better world emerged

[Gypsy Picker]

Definitely some vivid imagery and some wonderful turns of phrase, but I wonder if maybe another couple of verses might take the listener somewhere and make the song more complete. It seems like a good setup for *something*, but remains incomplete lyrically for me. I don't need answers to all the questions left (why is father staring at his hands?), but I am left with a beckoning without reckoning.

[mccoyblues]

numbling back ?

[Gypsy Picker]

Forgot about that one McCoy -- I assumed he meant "rumbling".

[Cornflake]

No, I meant numbling. Whether I should have or not.

GP, I think you've answered my questions. Thanks.

[Gypsy Picker]

I hope you don't scrap this one, Don. I think it has real potential. And as always, without hearing it, I have no real idea how it stands on its own as is.

I could not find a definition for numbling, but I do like the word, whatever it means.

[Cribbs]

A rumbling, numb feeling. I like the word because it leaves it up to individual interpretation.

[Cornflake]

I doubt that there's a definition for numbling since I think it's a coinage.

GP, I'll probably chuck this one. It has some good lines but lots of things with good lines don't turn into keepers. What there is to it is all there will ever be.

That doesn't bother me. I throw out a whole lot more songs than I ever perform.

[SteveO]

Don , Hope you don't mind...But I beg the Differ with ya....
Quote:
" What there is to it is all there will ever be.
That doesn't bother me. I throw out a whole lot more songs than I ever perform"



.

“That don't bother me”

I doubt that there's a definition
But that don’t bother Me
I doubt that there's a definition
But that don’t bother Me

I say, Cuz that don’t bother Me……..
That don’t bother Me~eeee
No, That don’t bother Me……..

I throw out a whole lot more songs than I ever perform.
Yea, I throw out a whole lot more songs than I ever perform.
But that don’t bother Me

I say, That don’t bother Me……..
That don’t bother Me~eeee
No, That don’t bother Me……..


Now’z It”z Got some good lines
It”z Got some good lines
But that don’t bother Me

But lots of things with good lines don't turn into keepers……
But lots of things with good lines don't turn into keepers.
And that Don’t bother Me
OH, No That don’t bother me

Cuz what there is to it ….is all there will ever be.
Cuz what there is to it ….is all there will ever be.

I say, Cuz that don’t bother Me……..
That don’t bother Me~eeee
No, That don’t bother Me……..

Oh,I throw out a whole lot more songs than I ever perform
Yea .
I throw out a whole lot more songs than I ever perform
Yea .

[Cornflake]

Gotta hear you play this one, SteveO!

[SteveO]

cornflake said:

Gotta hear you play this one, SteveO!

Hey it's your words I just played around with it....
it, still needs a little work,in my opion...
But that was a quick slap together

I was thinking maybe a ....A7th~D7th~E...12 bar