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Post by t-bob on Jan 11, 2024 19:25:10 GMT -5
My friend texted me and it said “pancreatic cancer stage 4th”
My response ‘tears and a wounded heart’
I will think about his thoughts and we'll see what happens for the several months….
My friend resides different geographic Eastern coast. I've known him for almost 65 years. I started what I found him when I was a high school. He had a wonderful life, kids, an artistic painter, musician, altruistic man and a close family. He's told me that “I like his best friend, Rooster”. Obviously he loves his family better than me. And both of us are good “soulmates” we don't live in the same bed - but we drink good “the cup of the tea”
An important question to ask is, what would I want if I were in their situation? Some patients may be reluctant to ask for things they need for fear of being a burden. I will to complete tasks without being asked, bring their favorite meal to the hospital, assist their situations and help them do things they wish they could do. I found myself often not taking people up on that because I was so caught up in my friend’s illness. Instead, I now make it a point to say to a friend, ‘Here’s how I’m going to help you.’”
Simply being there for the patient to lean on is helpful. Talk to them about favorite memories, their favorite television show, current events or music they like. Help them feel “normal” instead of secluded. This can be done over the phone if you are unable to be there in person.......it could be possible
I don't know exactly what to do because I live so far from my friend….
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Post by james on Jan 11, 2024 19:53:35 GMT -5
"Tears and a wounded heart" was a loving response. Sorry about this Bob.
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Dub
Administrator
I'm gettin' so the past is the only thing I can remember.
Posts: 19,852 
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Post by Dub on Jan 11, 2024 20:15:25 GMT -5
So sorry to see this, Bob. Sadly, there is little we can do but be there in spirit and to talk if you can.
I lost a dear friend last year to the same disease. We grew up together, went to school together, and stayed in touch for 75 years. When he told me he was dying, he was writing a deep biography to leave for his wife. He wanted to know more about my father who he regarded as an important influence. Sometimes just talking over old times with a dying friend is useful.
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Post by coachdoc on Jan 12, 2024 9:40:54 GMT -5
TBob. Pancreatic cancer is a horrible way to die. So sorry for you and your friend.
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Post by theevan on Jan 12, 2024 20:23:58 GMT -5
Wendy's dad died of pancreatic cancer. When diagnosed he decided up front to refuse traditional medical treatment. I've heard folks SAY they would do the same, but when facing the monster they opt to treat. Ed Fontenot was made of different stuff.
Anyway, his hospice nurses were amazed at how comfortably and relatively painlessly Ed died.
I'm saying I'd do the same but I'm not sure if I could really don my big boy pants
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Post by david on Jan 13, 2024 0:06:52 GMT -5
Hey, Bob. My sympathies.
I received similar news today. My 8 year younger cousin has been treating for leukemia. He did not have a high enough white blood count to qualify for the bone marrow transplant, so he opted for some experimental treatment. It included chemo. Today I learned that it did not work and made him even sicker. He fortunately had a nice rally yesterday and a good visit with his immediate family. But he now has a brain bleed and will likely pass soon. If he can make it home from the hospital to Newberg tomorrow, I might have a chance to see him and tell him how much he has meant to me before he goes.
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Post by t-bob on Jan 14, 2024 13:14:57 GMT -5
Thank you for the group about the cancer. Some of you understand about this situations.
I did a lot of writing and editing also (not plagiarism). It was something to relax me instead about how I don’t have to think about my friend that’s going to die soon.
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Post by TKennedy on Jan 14, 2024 15:53:26 GMT -5
Pat’s father died from pancreatic ca in the late 80’s. He was a super cool guy. I remember discussing his case with an oncologist friend who was really good and he recommended no heroic treatment, just accept that it was going to take you and try to live as comfortably as possible. Unfortunately he went with some experimental chemo that they thought would prolong things but all it did was make him a lot sicker than he ever would have been had he done nothing and he only lived a couple of months dying from complications of the chemo essentially.
That was a long time ago though and things may be much different now. We all think we know what we’d do but you never really know until it’s staring you in the face.
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Post by t-bob on Jan 14, 2024 16:10:17 GMT -5
Pat’s father died from pancreatic ca in the late 80’s. He was a super cool guy. I remember discussing his case with an oncologist friend who was really good and he recommended no heroic treatment, just accept that it was going to take you and try to live as comfortably as possible. Unfortunately he went with some experimental chemo that they thought would prolong things but all it did was make him a lot sicker than he ever would have been had he done nothing and he only lived a couple of months dying from complications of the chemo essentially. That was a long time ago though and things may be much different now. We all think we know what we’d do but you never really know until it’s staring you in the face. I know a lot of people have had some nasty cancer.....relatives, friends, and pets I still haven't told who it is because he hasn't told anybody just me. He's probably going to have to get some morphine or heroin. He should probably have a hospice nurse. I'm sure he'll get some small good food (ice cream or tea honey lemon) I'm still the last person that has the "C" except maybe his wife or his daughters..... At least I've been positive/negative but I'm still good tears whew...... |
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