Sister DaShawn

[iamjohnne]

Sister DaShawn
Sister Dashawn says she'll read my palm
She says she can tell my future
How does she know what I am gonna do?
How can she tell what I've been up to?
Was I up all night all day long?
Have I been playing with Karma?
How will she know
How will she know
If there is gonna be harm?
Sister Dashawn says she'll read my palm
She says she can tell my future
How does she know what I am gonna do?
How can she tell what I've been up to?
Will she look in my heart and know what I'm thinkin'
Will she know that man has driven me to drinkin?
Does she know I'm heading out west in the morning?
How will she know the ideas I've been forming?
Sister Dashawn says she'll read my palm
She says she can tell my future
How does she know what I am gonna do?
How can she tell what I've been up to?

[Marshall]

I like it a lot.

The lines:
Will she look in my heart and know what I'm thinkin'
Will she know that man has driven me to drinkin?
Does she know I'm heading out west in the morning?
How will she know the ideas I've been forming?

, are the ones that give us a hint about the author's real story. The first 3 lines are intriguing. The 4th line doesn't deliver the bacon as well as it could. Somehow we want to get more clues about the story. Maybe something as simple as:

Will she know about this plan I've been forming?


And I was wanting more of a zinger or twist at the end. maybe:

How does she know what I am gonna do?
When i don't know myself if it's true.

, or

How does she know what I am gonna do?
Can she see what I've been up to

,or

Can she see what I'm going through.

,or

Does she know what i've been up to

,or

Can she see if I will follow through.

. . . , just some random thoughts.

[Cornflake]

I like it, johnne. On this one in particular I'd like to hear the music.

[iamjohnne]

Marshall and Don,

As always, thanks for your input.
I liked all of your ideas. I kinda stuck them as a fade off at the end.

I am not sure about the music yet. Everything for me is in G and syrupy which won't work, or E and bluesy but I don't think that's gonna work either. I am working on it.



Sister Dashawn says she'll read my palm
She says she can tell my future
How does she know what I am gonna do?
How can she tell what I've been up to?

Was I up all night all day long?
Have I been playing with Karma?
How will she know
How will she know
If there is gonna be harm?

Sister Dashawn says she'll read my palm
She says she can tell my future
How does she know what I am gonna do?
How can she tell what I've been up to?

Will she look in my heart and know what I'm thinkin'
Will she know that man has driven me to drinkin?
Does she know I'm heading out west in the morning?
How will she know about this plan I've been forming?

Sister Dashawn says she'll read my palm
She says she can tell my future
How does she know what I am gonna do?
How can she tell what I've been up to?
How does she know what I am gonna do?
When i don't know myself if it's true.
Does she know what i've been up to
Can she see if I will follow through.

[Marshall]

I liked all of your ideas. I kinda stuck them as a fade off at the end.

Oh gee. If it works for you, then great.