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Kali
Dec 13, 2009 20:23:43 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Dec 13, 2009 20:23:43 GMT -5
Starting a new tune musically. A guitar friend, Norm, chastised me a couple days ago for always writing in DADGAD. Norm is a character. (Not to be taken too seriously, even when he means to be). I said, "I can play in standard !" I think he wanted to work up one of my songs, Redneck Wedding, (he said so about a month ago) but found it unworkable in Standard. Norm thinks he can do anything. (I was actually quite flattered back then, but had told him it probably wouldn't work out)
So I started noodling around in standard today for no good reason, really; and came up with a new musical pattern that will likely turn into another black-hole of time loss/commitment over the next few weeks. But that's the way it goes.
Subject-wise it needs to be dark and mysterious. I could always craft something around JohnB's favorite "Kali" character.
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Kali
Dec 30, 2009 10:22:09 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Dec 30, 2009 10:22:09 GMT -5
I think I've figured an angle on this one. I don't have a story-line worked out. But Ive got a handle on the mythical character and the protagonist's relationship to her. And I have chosen a real-life woman/friend to base the song around. That helps me give it a sense of emotional authenticity (rather than a concern for story-telling accuracy). Any rate. Opening lines are important. Here's what I have so far for the opening stanza:
I can’t seem to breathe When Kali walks by, I’m hypnotized My will disappears Don’t look in her eyes
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Kali
Dec 30, 2009 13:52:08 GMT -5
Post by Fingerplucked on Dec 30, 2009 13:52:08 GMT -5
Ok, I'm hooked...
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Kali
Jan 2, 2010 12:56:29 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 2, 2010 12:56:29 GMT -5
The holidays are over. Back to our previously scheduled lives.
I couldn't sleep last night and got up and churned this a bit. (always a creative time). And I think I've worked out the first verse and chorus. I had timed a trip through the verse and chorus and it takes about a minute and a half, with all the instrumental measures between things. So it's only going to be a two verse and two chorus song. The first verse is worked out. The second verse will probably have to get more personally involved with the protagonist and the mythical figure. Here's what it is so far.
Kali
Can’t seem to breathe When Kali walks by I’m hypnotized My will disappears Don’t look in her eyes
She fills up the room With laughter divine, she’s in my mind A love that can’t be I’m committed you see.
I run from
(chorus) Kali, she is the goddess of the night Her winsome beauty captivates all those who try She’ll win you over then she’ll cast you aside
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Kali
Jan 2, 2010 18:39:53 GMT -5
Post by Fingerplucked on Jan 2, 2010 18:39:53 GMT -5
If this comes out in 3D, I'm definitely going to see it in an IMAX theater.
Liking it so far, Marshall.
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Kali
Jan 3, 2010 8:17:10 GMT -5
Post by Cornflake on Jan 3, 2010 8:17:10 GMT -5
Your process is very interesting, Marshall, and very different from mine. Good luck with the rest of it.
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Kali
Jan 4, 2010 13:21:59 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 4, 2010 13:21:59 GMT -5
Yeah. My process is actually processing. It's the way my head works with everything, I'm afraid. I don't know exactly where I'm going when I start out. Just an idea and a direction. In the course of coming up with a solution, I generally have to redefine the problem a couple times and cull through many disparate possibilities. Works well for architecture design too. Makes it tough on the engineering side of my head though. And there is really something about the special state-of-mind when waking in the middle of the night. I came up with half the second verse last night. It was working great. Shoulda wrote it all down. I remembered most, But I'm drawing a blank on one key line I came up with. (And I decided to change a few words in the chorus with each different trip through it; development. And I think I know now what the ending is going to be. ) But there's always tonight.
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Kali
Jan 4, 2010 13:33:30 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 4, 2010 13:33:30 GMT -5
PS - There's a song critique circle I go to at Old Town School of Folk Music on this Friday. So I want to have something new to show.
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Kali
Jan 8, 2010 7:33:30 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 8, 2010 7:33:30 GMT -5
As luck (and sleeplessness) would have it, I woke up @ about 4:45 and lay there and pondered my way through the second verse. Ican do that and remember most everything, as long as the first thing I do in the morning is write it down. As soon as I crowd my head with real thoughts, lyrics break apart and float away.
So here's the tune as it sits this morning.
Kali
Can’t seem to breathe When Kali walks by. I’m hypnotized My will disappears Don’t look in her eyes
She fills up the room With laughter divine, she’s in my mind A love that can’t be I’m committed you see.
(chorus) Run from; Kali she is the goddess of the night Her winsome body captivates those in sight She’ll win you over then she’ll cast you aside
She comes up to me Those enticing eyes. I’m drawn inside So tempted to stay But it’s not right
I reach down and feel The ring on my hand, and understand I should resist But her eyes insist.
(chorus) Oh my; Kali Kalika, the goddess of the night Her striking beauty overwhelms those who try She’ll win you over then she’ll cast you aside
I can't seem to breathe
"Kali"
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Kali
Jan 9, 2010 11:54:14 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 9, 2010 11:54:14 GMT -5
Well I played it last night at the First Friday. I got some interesting comments and good feedback. Most people liked the verses (and story line) but didn't like the chorus; or at least the second full line of the chorus. And I got hammered for changing the chorus the second time through. And a couple people didn't like the reference to "Kali" and certainly not "Kali Kalika." In fact, someone wanted me to change the name.
I am digesting all that, and think I'll ignore most of it. Though, I probably will settle on a second line of the chorus and keep it for both chori. And I'll pull the "Kali Kalika" name and just stick with "Kali."
I think much of the awkwardness in sound comes from my unpracticed delivery. I haven't burned in a consistent cadence to the lines yet. Other than that, I'll just tweak a few things. But "Kali" will stay.
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Kali
Jan 9, 2010 18:26:19 GMT -5
Post by Cornflake on Jan 9, 2010 18:26:19 GMT -5
It's well done, Marshall. I think I agree with the comments you received. No law says that choruses can't be different, but they do provide a respite from the variation in the verses, and here I think it would help. Axing "Kalika" strikes me as a good idea.
You have Kali laughing. Haven't checked, but my recollection is that she was a pretty dark deity.
"Captivates" kind of bothered me but I can't put my finger on why.
All nitpicks. Looks like a good one.
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Kali
Jan 10, 2010 1:46:10 GMT -5
Post by RickW on Jan 10, 2010 1:46:10 GMT -5
I think the worship of Kali was very dark, but she herself was not. Interesting thing to write about, Marshall, indeed. Where's the tune?
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Kali
Jan 10, 2010 12:51:15 GMT -5
Post by Resolve on Jan 10, 2010 12:51:15 GMT -5
Hi Marshall, It's so interesting to read your blogs as you work on a song. I could relate to a number of things you talked about...like when your brain is most creative in that time when it first awakens...and how if you don't write down ideas then, by the time you can get to it the ideas have floated away. The process is so satisfying though, is it not? Being able to just create a character who becomes a person of your own design...and/or to just let your mind take "the walk of the yogi" and just let it discover what it will. I personally would rather react to a song in its entirety...hearing the words AND the music...because the music adds information of its own. I'll look forward to hearing a recording. Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? (Know that if I don't respond for awhile it's because I can't log in here).
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Kali
Jan 10, 2010 16:12:18 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 10, 2010 16:12:18 GMT -5
Thanks, Cyndy. I will make a simple recording of it soon. I agree a literary discussion of lyrics is missing something CRUCIAL.
But I'll take a little issue with something you said: Being able to just create a character who becomes a person of your own design. Because I don't/can't do that. It always comes out contrived, for me when I try. And I think that's something for all songwriter's to watch.
I try to follow two opposing ideals in songwriting: 1. - If it ain't real, its got no feel. 2. - Never let the truth get in the way of a good story (stolen from Mark Twain).
In the case of this song (and all the ones I do), I pattern my song characters after real people or experiences I know of. It's a way for me to be convincing (I hope) about what I write. Also, it gives me a true perspective to sing from. If I believe the story, then i have a better chance of communicating something to an audience that they can believe.
But I also take artistic license with the stories I choose and expand or fit them to the idea I want to communicate.
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Kali
Jan 11, 2010 8:28:31 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 11, 2010 8:28:31 GMT -5
I think this is the final on the lyrics. I'll make a simple mp3 this week.
Kali - Marshall Hjertstedt
Can’t seem to breathe When Kali walks by. I’m hypnotized My will disappears Don’t look in her eyes
She fills up the room With laughter divine, she’s in my mind A love that can’t be I’m committed you see.
(chorus) Run from; Kali, she is the goddess of the night She casts a spell that no warrior can fight She’ll win you over then cast you aside
She comes on to me And flashes those eyes. I’m drawn inside So tempted to stay But it’s not right
I reach down and touch The ring on my hand, and understand I should resist But her eyes insist.
(chorus) Oh my; Kali, she is the goddess of the night She cast's a spell that no warrior can fight She’ll win you over then cast you aside
Can’t seem to breathe
“Kali”
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Kali
Jan 12, 2010 7:05:56 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 12, 2010 7:05:56 GMT -5
Man ! I've gone through about 25, 26 (this is going to sound absurd, but it's true) 98 different re-writes of the second line of the chorus ! ! ! !
This better be IT.
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Kali
Jan 15, 2010 20:22:13 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 15, 2010 20:22:13 GMT -5
Okey dokey I've got a quickie recording up on my Soundclick. I recorded it a whole step down from when I was writing it. It seemed easier to sing. But in hearing it, the song seems a little slower and more morose than I was going for. So maybe I'll bring it back up a whole step for performance mode. The guitar is the Zoo tuned a whole step down (which is where it will live). But God put capos in the world for a reason. www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=870281
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Kali
Jan 16, 2010 11:46:45 GMT -5
Post by Marshall on Jan 16, 2010 11:46:45 GMT -5
Well. I redid the song up a whole step (back in standard) and it works MUCH better, as far as I'm concerned. (Plus it gives me the bonus, that I can pick up any guitar anywhere without a capo or other tuning, and just play one of my songs. That hasn't happened in years).
PLUS: I woke up this morning and came up with the 99th version of the second line. THIS one is the winner.
The newest version is on the Soundclick.
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Kali
Jan 16, 2010 18:04:11 GMT -5
Post by RickW on Jan 16, 2010 18:04:11 GMT -5
Tres cool, Marshall. I like the chords, the way the melody works with them. Love the feel, darker in the verses, more upbeat and less mysterious in the chorus.
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