And that's when the fight started...

[t-bob]

This may have been posted here before, but it's worth a second look.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started...
________________________________________
I asked my wife,
'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said..
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________________
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have $ex?'
'No,'
she answered.
I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
'Yes.'
So I said,
'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first…
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said,
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________________
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked,
'What's on TV?'
I said,
'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
________________________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said,
'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
________________________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept st aring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her,
'Do you know him?'
'Yes,'
she sighed,
‘He’s my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!'
I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
________________________________________
I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started...

________________________________________

THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf… Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors… I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said,
'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.'
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[Fingerplucked]

I've seen it before. I don't know if it was here, but I definitely saw that posted somewhere.

[TDR]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

"I remember that, too," she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said... "I would have gotten out today."

[Marshall]

I did not see tbobs before; fun.

;D

I did see TDRs. (still funny)

;D