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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2010 23:46:55 GMT -5
I haven't been writing for a long time now. Just starting up again and this is my first one.
The Storm
The storm built slowly, creeping up the shore I wasn’t listening to the weather report Just doing my thing when the skies grew dark The clouds formed over head and the heavens lit up It was until the flood left its mark had I noticed that I was wet.
I did what I do and I hid beneath the bed Shrouded in darkness, cover for my head Silently waiting for the hurricane to pass the typhoon to dry up and the tidal wave to crash It was until I was lying in the dark had I noticed that the light went out
There was nothing to do but survival mode No current, no tv, no computer or phone Cut off from the world, cut off from my friends If I wanted to see them, I’d need to live life again For it wasn’t until I was stranded alone that I finally figured it out
Now that I weathered the storm, fixed up the house and swept up the floor I’d keep going but there’s not much more, so I’ll light you a candle and leave open the door
The storm build slowly creeping up the shore I wasn’t listening to the weather report And I now know what I needed to do I needed to focus and pay attention to you For it wasn’t until the storm carried you away, had I noticed the skies were gray. Yea it wasn’t until the storm carried you away, had I noticed my skies were gray.
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Post by Cornflake on Sept 7, 2010 21:48:57 GMT -5
It's interesting and a bit enigmatic, Scruffy. I've read it through several times. I'm still a bit puzzled but I like the mood.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2010 9:47:46 GMT -5
Thanks Cornflake. It's really about self reflection and coming to terms at the end of a relationship.
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Post by brucemacneill on Sept 10, 2010 18:59:42 GMT -5
I don't feel qualified to comment really but although the poem is alright and the mood is clear, I don't feel the meter of a tune behind it. I'd be real interested to hear it put to music and hear how the meter worked out. I'm probably too simple in my musical orientation and like I said not qualified.
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Post by Resolve on Sept 11, 2010 11:41:50 GMT -5
Great imagery!
I too would love to hear the song with the music. Can you do that?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2010 13:11:34 GMT -5
I can do that. I just have to get a decent recording down and I'll post it.
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Post by Resolve on Sept 13, 2010 15:16:08 GMT -5
Cool!
I'll watch for that!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2010 22:09:02 GMT -5
As promised, I recorded the song. Mind you, it's a one mic, one take with the harmonica around my neck and the guitar is a little heavy in the mic. I know I could have done a better take, but I didn't want to be doing twenty takes searching for something near perfect because I would be up until dawn trying that lol. soundclick.com/share?songid=9644514
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Post by brucemacneill on Sept 14, 2010 5:10:24 GMT -5
Yeah, that helps. Very Dylanesque, IMHO. It works.
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Post by Resolve on Sept 14, 2010 6:35:22 GMT -5
Thanks for the recording!! Cool song...I agree...thoughts of Dylan while listening. Harmonica is a nice touch too. Really enjoyed that, Frank!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2010 18:31:12 GMT -5
Thank you guys. I appreciate the feedback as every bit always helps with confidence and growth.
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