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Post by billhammond on Jan 3, 2011 17:21:17 GMT -5
1)What is the definition of a minor second?
a)Two oboes playing in unison.
2)What is the definition of a half step?
a)Two oboes playing in unison.
3)What is the definition of a major second?
a)Two baroque oboes playing in unison.
4)How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
a)Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.
5)Why did the chicken cross the road?
a)To get away from the oboe recital.
6)What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
a)A bad oboist can kill you.
7)How many oboe players does it take to change a lightbulb?
a)Only one but he'll go through 30 to 40 bulbs to find the best one.
8)What do you call perfect pitch in an oboe?
a)In the dumpster without hitting the side.
9)Define a lady
a)She owns an oboe yet refues to play it.
10)What's the difference between a family reunion and an oboe solo?
a)You know they are both coming and there is not a darn thing you can do about it!!
11)What's the difference between a high-school oboe section and a 12-cylinder Jaguar engine?
a)With enough time and work, you can eventually get the 12-cylinder Jag in tune.
12)There was a band directer who had a gun with two bullets there was a bad oboe player, trumpet player, and bassoon player. who did he shoot?
a)The oboe player- twice, just to make sure.
13)What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
a)You don't cry when you're cutting up the oboe ....
14)What's the difference between oboe road kill and raccoon road kill?
a)Skid marks in front of the raccoon!
15)How do you get an oboe players eyes to light up?
a)Shine a flashlight in their ears
16)Why should oboe players get no breaks?
a)They will forget how to read notes and it will take too long to reteach them
17)How can you tell the first chair oboe player has been at a computer?
a)There is white out all over the screen
18)How can you tell the second chair oboe player was at the computer after the first chair oboe player?
a)There is writing on the white out
19)Why don't oboists eat bananas?
a)they can't find a zipper OR a pull tab
20)Why do oboists drive BMWs?
a)because they can spell the name
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Post by theevan on Jan 3, 2011 17:52:51 GMT -5
Not collected by French horn players, I can tell you that.
(I love oboe 'n English horn)
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Post by billhammond on Jan 3, 2011 17:57:04 GMT -5
Not collected by French horn players, I can tell you that. (I love oboe 'n English horn) Oh, me, too. These could be (and are) banjo jokes, as well. |
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Post by millring on Jan 3, 2011 18:15:23 GMT -5
Not collected by French horn players, I can tell you that. (I love oboe 'n English horn) Oh, me, too. These could be (and are) banjo jokes, as well. Really? Banjo? an oboe player reeding these wood wind up offended. |
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Post by RickW on Jan 3, 2011 18:24:52 GMT -5
There's a new age duo from Washington, Tingstad and Rumbel. She plays oboe. It's a wonderful combo.
Those are also lawyer jokes.
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Post by paulschlimm on Jan 3, 2011 19:06:59 GMT -5
John, I doff my hat to your pun. ::doffs::
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Post by RickW on Jan 3, 2011 19:18:23 GMT -5
John, I doff my hat to your pun. ::doffs:: I, on the other hand, was trying to ignore him.  |
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Post by paulschlimm on Jan 3, 2011 21:29:01 GMT -5
Rick, that probably speaks volumes...  |
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Post by Village Idiot on Jan 3, 2011 22:04:09 GMT -5
I really like the oboe, for some reason. These would make good bassoon jokes, though.
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Post by Don Clark on Jan 3, 2011 22:41:21 GMT -5
There's a new age duo from Washington, Tingstad and Rumbel. She plays oboe. It's a wonderful combo. Nancy Rumbel plays an English horn. And an ocarina. English horn is a tad different than an oboe.  Oboe on top, English horn below. One of my alltime favorites from Tingstad and Rumbel - The English horn plays in a higher register than the oboe. The English horn is more of a soprano where the oboe is more baritone. |
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Post by j on Jan 3, 2011 23:04:42 GMT -5
Actually you have it backwards, Don. The English Horn sounds a fifth lower than the Oboe, and is the upper (larger) instrument in your picture.
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Post by Lonnie on Jan 3, 2011 23:21:44 GMT -5
 Not to be confused with either the Saxomatic,  the Blues Training Harp,  the Swiss Harp,  the Grilled Swiss Harp,  or the Swiss Army Harp.  |
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Post by Don Clark on Jan 4, 2011 9:40:41 GMT -5
Actually you have it backwards, Don. The English Horn sounds a fifth lower than the Oboe, and is the upper (larger) instrument in your picture. I stand corrected.....certainly won't argue with a musician of your credentials. I was pulling from my memories from a high school instrument study/orchestration and arranging class I took as a senior. But that was 42 years ago. ;D But I was thinking I had seen something at their website that referred to her playing English horn.  |
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Post by omaha on Jan 4, 2011 9:48:00 GMT -5
I played bassoon for a few years in high school. Beastly thing. But lots of range and power too.
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Post by millring on Jan 4, 2011 10:26:33 GMT -5
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