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Post by Hobson on Jul 15, 2011 16:05:49 GMT -5
I did it. Registered my first ever copyright for a half dozen songs today. I did the copyright on-line. It took a while, but was pretty straightforward and only cost me $35. Here's a link to one song. Needs a little work, but the basic idea is there. www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=10855352Where are the other songs, you might ask. They need more work than this one. After I wrote the song and gave it it's logical name, I googled the title. There are at least 3 published songs with the same name, but I'm sticking to it. |
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Post by Hobson on Jul 19, 2011 12:44:22 GMT -5
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Post by Marshall on Jul 20, 2011 23:23:26 GMT -5
I like it a lot. I noticed one thing, though. I have a fetish about opening lines. I think they are important to grab the listener's attention and your second line just seems like a place holder to set up the later rhyme with "true."
A lazy day like other days
The sky is bright and blue.
I really prefer the opening lines to be more unique to the situation. I thought Hanners recent lines were a stronger approach.:
I stood upon the makeshift shores of Highway 102
And looked at what a river could do
That "Looked at what a river could do" is powerful. Bam ! It creates an image in one's mind right off the bat. A "bright and blue sky" is not a grabber. It seems kind of ho-hum. Whereas the rest of your story has bite. In fact the lazy blue discussion is really incongruous with the troubled feel of the melody line.
Sorry for being critical. I don't know nuttin more than anybody else. It's just a thought. If that helps you, great! If you think I'm full of garbanzo beams, then great too !
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Post by Hobson on Jul 21, 2011 9:15:28 GMT -5
Marshall, I see what you're saying and I admit that the first 2 lines aren't very catchy. But I wrote those before I wrote the second 2 lines, which were difficult for me to find. I was trying to contrast the feeling of a relaxing summer day with the totally unforeseen panic that follows. Thanks for your comments. I'll give the lyrics some more thought.
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Post by Resolve on Jul 21, 2011 20:55:37 GMT -5
I like this Renee!!! I also LOVE that you are working in the "sub-basement"...nice sound for you!!! That's a feat. When I try to go there the bottom drops out so I am in "envy"!!
Such a great idea to write about this incredibly unsettling experience you've just had. I believe the best songs are written from times of the most emotion.
FWIW I liked the lyrics!
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Post by Hobson on Jul 22, 2011 12:35:39 GMT -5
Gosh, I'm blushing.
Yes, singing in the depths has its problems. My original posting of this song had some unintended wavering on the first couple of notes.
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