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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2016 3:49:54 GMT -5
Wrote this one yesterday after reading an NPR story on how Uniontown, PA, a coal-mining town that was once a Democratic stronghold, voted overwhelmingly for Trump. They believed his promises to bring back the coal industry.
Still tweaking it, and any constructive criticism is welcome. May record a video tomorrow.
Uniontown © 2016 by David Hanners
Our coal made steel, built this land, here in Uniontown Don't take a college degree to understand, here in Uniontown Free trade, NAFTA, the TPP, here in Uniontown Might be good for you but they suck for me, here in Uniontown China dumped steel at 400 bucks a ton In the war with foreign steel, foreign steel won Here in Uniontown
We trusted politicians time and again, here in Uniontown UMW helped them win, here in Uniontown They get to Washington then forget, here in Uniontown Jobs they promised, we ain't seen 'em yet, here in Uniontown Some billionaire says he'll bring us back But he's selling the same old crap Here in Uniontown
(Bridge) Mines closing one by one Just a matter of time 'til they're all gone Hope is the last thing that dies But we gave up hope and you ask why
I'm a miner like my dad before me, here in Uniontown King Coal paid for homes up and down this street, here in Uniontown Jenny says we oughta get out now, here in Uniontown Friends packed up and moved out, here in Uniontown Look around for someone to blame Immigrants who know God by a different name Welfare, Mexicans, the liberal press Our own shortsightedness Dinosaurs don't adapt When the last mine plays out we'll still be trapped Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2016 7:19:39 GMT -5
Sometimes, you finish a song and you're happy with yourself and life is good. Then you play the song out for an audience and it strikes you that something is just off. The lyrics don't fit the melody or tempo, or the key is wrong or the song's story needs a different vibe. Or all of the above.
Had a showcase spot at Tribeca Sessions in Dubai this weekend and included "Uniontown" in my set. Folks seemed to like it, but I didn't. The song just felt wrong, for some reason. I can't describe it, but the song just wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. So yesterday and today I sat down and retooled the song. Put it in a different (and minor) key and made it more atmospheric. Did some stringent editing and rewriting; ironically, despite adding a verse, this version is actually 33 words shorter than the original. I feel much better about this version. Maybe I'll post a video tomorrow. Here are the rewritten lyrics:
Uniontown © 2016 by David Hanners
In eighteen hundred and ninety-four, here in Uniontown United Mine Workers went to war, here in Uniontown Struck for rights and better pay, here in Uniontown Guards put five strikers in the grave, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
Our coal made steel, built this land, here in Uniontown Don't need to be a miner to understand, here in Uniontown When China dumps steel $400 a ton, here in Uniontown If there's war with foreign steel, foreign steel won, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
Trusted politicians time and again, here in Uniontown UMW helped them win, here in Uniontown Get to Washington then forget us, here in Uniontown Jobs they promised, we ain't seen 'em yet, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
(Bridge) Look around for someone to blame Immigrants who call God a different name Welfare, Mexicans, liberal press Our own shortsightedness Here in Uniontown
I mine like my dad 'fore me, here in Uniontown King Coal bought homes up and down this street, here in Uniontown Wife says we should get out now, leave Uniontown Or be the last ones standin' in a ghost town named Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
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Post by Doug on Nov 29, 2016 8:10:37 GMT -5
I enjoy your writing stories. I don't have a lot to say but I think that the processes we use to make music are interesting.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2016 14:32:30 GMT -5
Edited it yet again. I felt I needed to get the protagonist higher up in the song. As it was, we really didn't meet him until the fourth verse, although the second verse referred to "our" coal. But I thought after the history lesson of the first verse, I needed to get quickly into the personal and tell the listener something about the person telling the story. (A cutter, by the way, is a giant chain saw used to cut the coal.)
The challenge, though, is that the second verse has a lot of work to do. It has to introduce the protagonist, it has to establish that you use coal to make steel -- AND it has to set up the problem -- China dumping steel and the resulting economic chaos, which is expanded upon in the new third verse. That leads to the politicians' promises in the fourth verse. Then the fifth verse wraps it up.
I dropped the bridge. I felt it was just too much information for the listener to process.
Uniontown © 2016 by David Hanners
In eighteen hundred and ninety-four, in Uniontown United Mine Workers declared war, here in Uniontown Struck for rights, better pay, in Uniontown Guards put five strikers in the grave, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
I come home from Desert Storm, to Uniontown Ran a cutter like my dad before, here in Uniontown Our coal made that blast furnace run, in Uniontown Now China dumps steel $400 a ton, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
From the closed-down mines of the Chestnut Ridge, in Uniontown To the ghosts of the Homestead mills north of Uniontown King coal built houses up and down this street, in Uniontown Foreclosure signs now all you see, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
Trusted politicians time and again, in Uniontown UMW helped them win, here in Uniontown Go to Washington then forget us in Uniontown Jobs they promised, ain't seen 'em yet, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Working man can't catch a break, in Uniontown Got mortgage, bills and hell to pay, here in Uniontown Wife says we should get out now, leave Uniontown Our last stand in a ghost town, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2016 5:18:39 GMT -5
Did even more work on it. Edited mercilessly. This may be the final version:
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2016 8:56:06 GMT -5
And here are what I think will be the final lyrics:
Uniontown © 2016 by David Hanners
In eighteen hundred and ninety-four, in Uniontown United Mine Workers declared war, here in Uniontown Struck for rights, better pay, in Uniontown Guards put five strikers in the grave, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
I come home from Desert Storm, to Uniontown Run a cutter like my dad before, here in Uniontown Our coal made that blast furnace roar, in Uniontown Then China dumped steel and they shut the doors, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
From the closed-down mines of the Chestnut Ridge, in Uniontown To the ghosts of the Homestead mills, north of Uniontown Working man won't catch a break in Uniontown Got mortgage, bills and hell to pay, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
Politicians soon forget Jobs they promised, ain't seen 'em yet Here in Uniontown
King Coal built houses up and down this street, in Uniontown Foreclosure signs now all you see, here in Uniontown Wife says we should get out now, leave Uniontown Last ones standing in a ghost town, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
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Post by Doug on Dec 8, 2016 15:21:01 GMT -5
Thumbs up
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2017 4:51:12 GMT -5
Played the song at an open mic three weeks ago and while it went over well, I didn't think it worked. So I took the song back to the drawing board, and I think this is the final version:
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Post by Resolve on Feb 10, 2017 14:19:27 GMT -5
IMHO, the change(s) you made were good ones!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2017 9:27:45 GMT -5
Thanks. For what it is worth, here are the lyrics I have settled in with and they seem to be the "final" ones:
Uniontown © 2017 by David Hanners
In eighteen hundred and ninety-four United Mine Workers declared war here in Uniontown Stood up for rights, better pay Guards put five strikers in their graves here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
I come home from Desert Storm Run a cutter like my dad before here in Uniontown Our coal made that blast furnace run Then China dumped steel and they shut the doors here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
(Chorus) King Coal built this town, might as well use it to burn it down Here in Uniontown, Here in Uniontown
Closed mines, laid off crew Took our pensions and healthcare, too, here in Uniontown Crooks and conmen we elect Jobs they promised, ain't seen 'em yet here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
Got free trade, NAFTA, TPP Foreclosure signs up and down my street here in Uniontown Union man won't catch a break Got mortgage, bills, hell to pay, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown
(chorus)
From the closed-down mines of the Chestnut Ridge To the ghosts of the Homestead mills north of Uniontown Down at Potter's they got the Buccos on Bottom of the ninth, we're down by one, here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown Here in Uniontown, here in Uniontown
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