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Post by Supertramp78 on Nov 18, 2011 11:23:22 GMT -5
BY Eric K. Auld
1. A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
2. A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
3. A question mark walks into a bar?
4. Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.
5. A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.
6. The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
7. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
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Post by sidheguitarmichael on Nov 18, 2011 11:28:39 GMT -5
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Post by omaha on Nov 18, 2011 11:30:59 GMT -5
One of my kids' favorites:
- A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"
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Post by Supertramp78 on Nov 18, 2011 11:32:38 GMT -5
or the great "A Minister, a Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?""
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Post by millring on Nov 18, 2011 11:35:32 GMT -5
;D
A man and a woman walks into a bar in disagreement.
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Post by billhammond on Nov 18, 2011 12:07:09 GMT -5
Dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
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Post by Lonnie on Nov 18, 2011 12:14:03 GMT -5
Two drummers walk past a bar...
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Post by millring on Nov 18, 2011 12:32:17 GMT -5
Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, why so tense?"
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Post by Russell Letson on Nov 18, 2011 12:53:40 GMT -5
Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 12:58:28 GMT -5
an irishman walks into a bar.
bartender says "hey, fuck off, you're barred. and also, you should use capitals."
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 13:04:28 GMT -5
A very fashionably dressed woman walks into a bar with her dog on a leash. A patron, somewhat intoxicated, looks at the dog and asks, "hey.... where'd ya get the pig?"
The woman responds, "I'll have you know that's a registered pedrigree poodle!"
The tipsy patron looks at the woman with a scowl and says, "I know.... I was talking to the poodle."
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 13:30:42 GMT -5
a muslim wlaks into a bar. bartender says "hey, why the wrong place?" It is proper to capitalize the "M" in Muslim, just like you'd capitalize the "C" in Christian or the "J" in Jewish. Unless you're making some sort of statement, which I will assume you weren't. And there is nothing wrong with a Muslim walking into a bar. I've walked into (and played) plenty of bars. I just don't drink alcohol. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 13:40:00 GMT -5
a muslim wlaks into a bar. bartender says "hey, why the wrong place?" It is proper to capitalize the "M" in Muslim, just like you'd capitalize the "C" in Christian or the "J" in Jewish. Unless you're making some sort of statement, which I will assume you weren't. And there is nothing wrong with a Muslim walking into a bar. I've walked into (and played) plenty of bars. I just don't drink alcohol. no offence meant. i don't capitalise anything. also, i never said that there was anything wrong with a muslim going to a bar. twas merely a joke. i could change it to "teetotaller" if you'd prefer? |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 13:47:06 GMT -5
The "shift" key is not too hard to use. The standard qwerty keyboard has two of them, at either end of the bottom row of keys. Typing in all lowercase went out of vogue when Fred Allen passed away in the mid-'50s.....
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Post by dradtke on Nov 18, 2011 13:50:40 GMT -5
You'd better use some capital letters, connington. After all, capital letters are the only difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
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Post by millring on Nov 18, 2011 13:51:18 GMT -5
Such religious sensitivity from a guy who refers to Jesus as "J-Dawg".  |
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Post by millring on Nov 18, 2011 13:55:20 GMT -5
In questions of religious sensitivity, I usually just ask myself, WWPD?  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2011 14:02:30 GMT -5
Such religious sensitivity from a guy who refers to Jesus as "J-Dawg". I forget where I picked that up, but it was from a Christian. If indeed I used it. Which I may have. But I don't recall. I would apologize to all offended. |
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Post by Doug on Nov 18, 2011 14:07:50 GMT -5
Religious tolerance means that Jews laugh at Jewish jokes, Christians laugh at Christian jokes and Muslims laugh at Muslim jokes not that they get offended by said jokes.
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Post by millring on Nov 18, 2011 14:14:16 GMT -5
Such religious sensitivity from a guy who refers to Jesus as "J-Dawg". I forget where I picked that up, but it was from a Christian. connington doesn't even capitalize his own name for godssake. Where in the WORLD do you suppose he picked up the unmitigated audacity to not capitalize "Muslim"? You did. You didn't. You may consider turning down your outraged meter a bit, or else don't mind when my irony meters appear to be set on high. |
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