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Post by fauxmaha on Aug 26, 2019 10:54:01 GMT -5
Well, mercifully, it is over.
Mom passed yesterday afternoon. Peacefully. With lots of family around her.
We've had time these last two months to get the practicalities of her final arrangements made, which is nice. Everything is pretty much on auto-pilot by now.
Everyone seems to be taking this about as well as could be hoped for. I was worried about a few of my daughters, wondering how hard this would hit them. There have been a lot of tears. We ended up gathering at mom's house yesterday evening. She had 25 years worth of camcorder videos transferred to DVD some time back, so those were put on the TV and we all basked in some really nice memories.
Whatever grief I had two months ago has mostly flipped over to relief. Mom never wanted to be the person she was these last few weeks. Now she isn't anymore. That's a blessing.
I assume that at some point the grief will hit again. For the moment, though, it all seems overwhelmingly peaceful.
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Post by coachdoc on Aug 26, 2019 10:59:45 GMT -5
Prayers for your family's healing. So hard to lose a parent even when it is the end of suffering.
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Post by Marshall on Aug 26, 2019 11:02:44 GMT -5
Well, thanks for sharing, Jeff. Best to you and your family.
Sounds to me like the whole family pulled together and made the best of a sad, but inevitable, situation. A life learning experience for all.
I'm reminded of a song I wrote 10 years ago. (I just dug it up again recently and added it to the play list). I won't bore you all with the details. But it was inspired by watching my MIL deal with health and depression issues after her husband died. That plus a quote from the Owner of the race horse, Barbaro, who had to be put down after he broke a leg in the Preakness. The Owner said, "Grief is the price we pay for love."
So I wrote, "We Pay for Love." (everything has a price. The Ying and Yang).
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Post by Russell Letson on Aug 26, 2019 11:05:24 GMT -5
I have an idea of how tough this is--and how mixed feelings can get, and how they can sneak up on you for quite a while after. There's no avoiding it, you just get through it.
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Post by theevan on Aug 26, 2019 11:08:26 GMT -5
I have an idea of how tough this is--and how mixed feelings can get, and how they can sneak up on you for quite a while after. There's no avoiding it, you just get through it. Much truth. And much love to you, Jeff, and to your family.
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Post by brucemacneill on Aug 26, 2019 11:18:51 GMT -5
My sympathies to you and your family, Jeff. As said above, you just get through it.
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Post by aquaduct on Aug 26, 2019 11:22:44 GMT -5
God bless you and your family my friend.
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Post by Dan McLaughlin on Aug 26, 2019 11:35:59 GMT -5
Sorry Jeff. Peace to you and your family.
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Post by AlanC on Aug 26, 2019 12:28:45 GMT -5
I know that mixed feeling well. I was both relieved and sad. Both of my parents died peacefully at the age of 85. Both surrounded by family. I could think of a lot worse ways of passing over.
Thinking of you.
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Post by dradtke on Aug 26, 2019 12:48:03 GMT -5
[quote author=" fauxmaha" source="/post/841909/thread" timestamp="1566834841"Whatever grief I had two months ago has mostly flipped over to relief. Mom never wanted to be the person she was these last few weeks. Now she isn't anymore. That's a blessing. I assume that at some point the grief will hit again. For the moment, though, it all seems overwhelmingly peaceful.[/quote] I understand those feelings. The hardest moments will be when your kids do something great and your first thought is that you can't wait to tell Mom about it.
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Post by Don Clark on Aug 26, 2019 12:48:32 GMT -5
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Dub
Administrator
I'm gettin' so the past is the only thing I can remember.
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Post by Dub on Aug 26, 2019 13:39:31 GMT -5
Thank you, Jeff, for thinking to post here. Joy and I are sorry for your loss, of course, but share your feelings about the end of suffering. Best to you and your family.
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Post by Cornflake on Aug 26, 2019 13:43:20 GMT -5
Russell said what I would have. I wish you the best.
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Post by Rob Hanesworth on Aug 26, 2019 14:01:56 GMT -5
Peace, my friend, and may your family cherish the memories.
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Tamarack
Administrator
Ancient Citizen
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Post by Tamarack on Aug 26, 2019 21:50:59 GMT -5
My condolences Jeff. Peace to you, to Angie, to your daughters, and all who were touched by your Mom's life.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2019 6:45:09 GMT -5
Jeff, thinking of you and your family here in Kings County. Have been through the long, lingering demises of both my parents, and although I am not privy to your inner dialogue, I have a sense of the swarm of feelings and conflicts loosed upon you all from the emotional beehive. The good times, relief and the reasons you are feeling it, are positive things on which to focus.
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Post by Village Idiot on Aug 27, 2019 8:08:35 GMT -5
Thinking of you and your family, Jeff. Your still on a road of grief, but you and your have reached the top of a steep hill. Your mother has found peace.
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Post by TKennedy on Aug 27, 2019 8:29:01 GMT -5
No one will ever love you as much as your mom. I am sorry Jeff.
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Post by Resolve on Aug 28, 2019 10:38:24 GMT -5
😢So very sorry, Jeff.
There are no words...
May the good Lord send you peace. ❤️
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Post by mnhermit on Aug 28, 2019 11:04:59 GMT -5
Peace and healing to you and your family.
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