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Post by Kramster on Nov 20, 2011 20:57:41 GMT -5
Nice play
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2011 9:44:04 GMT -5
A blind, blond, handicapped Jewish but recently converted Muslim man walks with his shoes on into a mosque while facing north.... And this is humor because....?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2011 9:57:15 GMT -5
An out-of-town salesman walks into a bar on the penthouse floor of a downtown hotel. The bar has a big patio overlooking the city. He sits at the bar and the bartender asks him what he'll have. The salesman looks at a multi-colored drink sitting in front of a dour-looking guy a couple of bar stools down and says, "That looks interesting. What is it?"
The dour-looking guy replies, "It's a zero-gravity drink. If you drink it, you can fly."
The salesman knows the guy is pulling his leg and says so. The dour-looking guy tells him, "No, really, it's a zero-gravity drink. Look -- I'll prove it." He finishes the drink, stands up, goes out on the patio, climbs up on the railing and steps off. The salesman looks on in horror, sure that the guy has just fallen 15 floors to his death.
A couple of minutes later, the elevator door opens and off steps the dour-looking guy. He doesn't have a scratch on him.
The salesman is still in shock and says he can't believe what he just saw. The dour-looking guy orders another drink, gulps it down, heads to the patio and jumps off. Moments later, the elevator door opens and he steps out.
"I'll have one of those drinks!" the salesman tells the bartender. He drinks it, heads for the patio, climbs up on the railing and steps off. He falls to his death.
The bartender turns to the dour-looking man and says, "Superman, you're a mean drunk...."
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Post by dickt on Nov 21, 2011 10:40:55 GMT -5
A mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender sez, "We don't serve your kind here"
Mushroom sez, "But I'm a fun guy"
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Post by dickt on Nov 21, 2011 10:42:51 GMT -5
Guy walks into a bar. Orders a beer, carries it to the men's room and comes back with it empty. After this scene repeats several times the bartender follows him into the men's room and sees him pouring the beer in the john. When asked for an explanation for his behavior the customer says, "I'm tired of being a damned middle man for this stuff"
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Post by AlanC on Nov 21, 2011 11:34:34 GMT -5
what do a cup of coffee and eric clapton have in common? they both suck without cream Hey I have one of those! What's the difference between a Podiatrist and Ginger Baker? A Podiatrist bucks up your feet.
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Post by Phil N. Theblank on Nov 21, 2011 11:36:23 GMT -5
A priest, a pedophile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink....
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Post by prodigalone on Nov 21, 2011 11:50:32 GMT -5
A blind, blond, handicapped Jewish but recently converted Muslim man walks with his shoes on into a mosque while facing north.... And this is humor because....? Because there's humor in everything. And because its good if one doesn't take oneself too seriously sometimes. Try it. You might find it helpful in that laughing at things that are not PC once in a while is a good way to have more fun. Besides, you're not actually *that* righteous, are you? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2011 11:58:13 GMT -5
And this is humor because....? Because there's humor in everything. And because its good if one doesn't take oneself too seriously sometimes. Try it. You might find it helpful in that laughing at things that are not PC once in a while is a good way to have more fun. Besides, you're not actually *that* righteous, are you? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) I'm not that righteous. I'm just trying to figure out why someone would think it is funny. It has nothing to do with being "PC" (whatever that term means anymore) and I can assure you I don't take myself too seriously. I'm just not seeing the humor, though.
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Post by prodigalone on Nov 21, 2011 12:09:47 GMT -5
Try watching a couple of raunchy George Carlin skits and you'll understand? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) Or maybe not... You probably find him offensive too I would imagine... I'm not going to try to justify it to you - I know youre smarter than that, and i'm really not interested in coming across as condescending or getting into a heated argument.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2011 12:18:22 GMT -5
Try watching a couple of raunchy George Carlin skits and you'll understand? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) Or maybe not... You probably find him offensive too I would imagine... I'm not going to try to justify it to you - I know youre smarter than that, and i'm really not interested in coming across as condescending or getting into a heated argument. George Carlin's humor had a point. George Carlin's humor had, well, humor. His stuff either made you laugh or think (often both) and your "joke" did neither, hence my question about what was supposed to be funny about it.
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Post by Russell Letson on Nov 21, 2011 12:52:19 GMT -5
Religion is a full-spectrum human activity: it embodies and enables both the best and the worst that we are capable of. And it is worthy of and vulnerable to the full spectrum of positive and negative comment and reaction, some of it deserved, and some of it unfair or bigoted. And even zero-degree religiosity (AKA heathenism) like my own gets the same treatment.
We have been overwhelmingly a nation of Christians and Jews and thus have a well-developed body of religion jokes tailored to the places where the various sects and traditions rub up against each other. We have also developed a rough sense of when a joke crosses the line from funny (even if with a slight cringe) to simply nasty. Islam's profile in America has been, until recently, too low to generate a decent set of punchlines that don't depend on hostility toward its least lovely practitioners in some of the least funny parts of the world; nor do we have a good sense of where the line we shouldn't cross might be. And it doesn't help that that there are segments of the Faithful out in the world who lack any sense of humor about matters religious and that they are often armed and dangerous. Some of them even run governments.
So hereabouts we seem to have arrived at a place not unlike the one in one of my favorite university-centric jokes:
How many lesbian feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
That's not funny!
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Post by omaha on Nov 21, 2011 13:37:16 GMT -5
Ok, how about:
A Hindu, a Buddhist and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "Get the fuck out of here!"
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Post by prodigalone on Nov 21, 2011 14:06:11 GMT -5
Try watching a couple of raunchy George Carlin skits and you'll understand? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) Or maybe not... You probably find him offensive too I would imagine... I'm not going to try to justify it to you - I know youre smarter than that, and i'm really not interested in coming across as condescending or getting into a heated argument. George Carlin's humor had a point. George Carlin's humor had, well, humor. His stuff either made you laugh or think (often both) and your "joke" did neither, hence my question about what was supposed to be funny about it. You need to watch a few more skits. The dude frequently used toilet humor without much of a point to be funny. But scapegoat me if it makes you feel better... I'm out. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2011 14:52:52 GMT -5
A blind, blond, handicapped Jewish but recently converted Muslim man walks with his shoes on into a mosque while facing north.... Is there a punchline? I don't get it either.
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Post by Russell Letson on Nov 21, 2011 15:55:38 GMT -5
It's a catalogue of hands-off humor-butts, though it's woefully incomplete. But then, I live in a university culture, where the list of that's-not-funnies runs to many fat volumes.
Oops--I'm not supposed to mention fat. "Weighty," then. No, that's just pushing it up-market. "Large" is probably safe, if I take care not to raise an eyebrow or smirk knowingly.
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Post by omaha on Nov 21, 2011 16:02:50 GMT -5
We prefer the term "stout".
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Post by Russell Letson on Nov 21, 2011 16:38:05 GMT -5
How bout "sturdy"? Suggests solidity, strength, and maybe that "he was light on his feet for a man so large" so beloved of thriller writers.
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Post by Lonnie on Nov 21, 2011 16:39:32 GMT -5
As a non-drinker, I object to the term "stout," as it may lead people who should know better back to beer.
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Post by Russell Letson on Nov 21, 2011 17:03:32 GMT -5
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink For fellows whom it hurts to think.
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