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Post by millring on Nov 21, 2011 17:04:14 GMT -5
rotund
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Post by MaxBlanca on Nov 22, 2011 6:11:50 GMT -5
connington walks into his local one evening during a state visit by the pope. No one is surprised when the pope, like all good catholics, ends up in the pub as well. His eminence turns out to be a pretty good bloke, but after an hour or so, conversation lags, and the pope says to connington, are you done with the crossword? By all means, says our man. About ten minutes later, his grace leans over to connington and whispers, can you think of a four letter word for a woman, that ends with u-n-t? And connington thinks, jaysus, this is the fu@&^ng pope!, that's it, I'm going to hell. In desperation he turns, and in a blinding, blessed flash of inspiration, he blurts out, Yes... Aunt. And the pope nods and says... damn, can I borrow your eraser?
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Post by MaxBlanca on Nov 22, 2011 6:20:41 GMT -5
From the great Bill bailey: Three blokes go into a pub. Well, I say three; could be four or five. Could be nine or ten, doesn't matter. Could have been fifteen, twenty - fifty. Round it up. Hundred. Let's go mad, eh - two-fifty. Tell you what, double it up - five hundred. Thousand! Oh, I've gone mad! Two thousand! Five thousand! (adopting auctioneer persona) Anyone? Five thousand, six thou, six thousand, ten thousand! Small town in Hertfordshire goes into a pub! Fifteen thousand blokes! Alright, let's go - population of Rotterdam. The Hague. Whole of Northern Holland. Mainland U.K. Let's go all the way to the top - Europe, alright? Whole of Europe goes - I say Europe. Could be Eurasia. Not the band, obviously, that's just two of them. Alright, continents - North America! Plus South America! Plus Antartica - that's just eight blokes in a weather station. Not a good example. Alright, make it a lot simpler, all the blokes on the planet go into the pub, right? And the first bloke goes up to the bar and he says "I'll get these in." What an idiot! And: Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. Not Bailey, but a favourite: A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one. Haha. Thinking of Bill Bailey. Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humor from it would be exploitative. Here's his three bloke joke:
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2011 9:38:30 GMT -5
Double thumb-uppery ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2011 9:38:32 GMT -5
connington walks into his local one evening during a state visit by the pope. No one is surprised when the pope, like all good catholics, ends up in the pub as well. His eminence turns out to be a pretty good bloke, but after an hour or so, conversation lags, and the pope says to connington, are you done with the crossword? By all means, says our man. About ten minutes later, his grace leans over to connington and whispers, can you think of a four letter word for a woman, that ends with u-n-t? And connington thinks, jaysus, this is the fu@&^ng pope!, that's it, I'm going to hell. In desperation he turns, and in a blinding, blessed flash of inspiration, he blurts out, Yes... Aunt. And the pope nods and says... damn, can I borrow your eraser? slight flaw there. i would never talk to the pope.
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Post by millring on Nov 22, 2011 9:42:53 GMT -5
slight flaw there. i would never talk to the pope. Well, sure...not without a translator.
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Post by Doug on Nov 22, 2011 9:48:11 GMT -5
connington walks into his local one evening during a state visit by the pope. No one is surprised when the pope, like all good catholics, ends up in the pub as well. His eminence turns out to be a pretty good bloke, but after an hour or so, conversation lags, and the pope says to connington, are you done with the crossword? By all means, says our man. About ten minutes later, his grace leans over to connington and whispers, can you think of a four letter word for a woman, that ends with u-n-t? And connington thinks, jaysus, this is the fu@&^ng pope!, that's it, I'm going to hell. In desperation he turns, and in a blinding, blessed flash of inspiration, he blurts out, Yes... Aunt. And the pope nods and says... damn, can I borrow your eraser? slight flaw there. i would never talk to the pope. I hear he plays a mean banjo ;D
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Post by epaul on Nov 22, 2011 20:19:48 GMT -5
In questions of religious sensitivity, I usually just ask myself, WWPD? ![](http://api.ning.com/files/2VGCba4aeNIkRLKsGgaJKWofb1czle5eGHULyPoZ1Eo6PwtSmgrD9JQaST4Dzv3NVTeDIMi8sytQ2OEu3VNrzqY9LE9CsWgS/epaul.jpg) Hey! That's me! I think. Yes, religious sensitivity is my middle name. I have no idea what my folks were thinking when they came up that one. I pretty much just use the initials now, saves a lot of explaining.
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