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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 22:18:39 GMT -5
Caught an osprey in my Merlin trap. Perhaps I missed the reference. Or did you get a license and take up falconry (ospreyry?)? |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 21:44:59 GMT -5
Caught an osprey in my Merlin trap. I hope you were able to release it unharmed. From the internet: Osprey are protected under both federal and state wildlife laws. The osprey is a migratory bird protected by the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (MBTA) 16 U.S.C. Sections 703-712 of 1918 (as amended). The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is the federal regulatory agency authorized to enforce the provisions of this Act. Mike Merlin is a bird ID app that captures bird sounds and tells you what kind of bird it is. No osprey were trapped, just its sound. |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 21:11:06 GMT -5
Caught an osprey in my Merlin trap. Perhaps I missed the reference. Or did you get a license and take up falconry (ospreyry?)? It has an innocent explanation. |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 19:36:09 GMT -5
WAY TO JINX GAME THREE, MR. T!
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 18:21:33 GMT -5
My wife and daughter are watching the Formula 1 race from Miami. Howard's sitting at the kitchen table with his hair in curlers, eating bonbons. |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 11:45:01 GMT -5
We were fifteen years old at the time. I don't remember. It was probably something about help with homework -- her offer or mine I couldn't say. "So, baby, your math or mine?" |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 11:38:30 GMT -5
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 11:28:06 GMT -5
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 11:12:55 GMT -5
I have read that people in Mexico don't celebrate Cinco de Mayo. It is only observed here in the States. That's probably because Mayonnaise is <not> that common in Mexico. Except, of course, on elotes. I always order mine without mayo -- the cotija cheese and seasonings, plus just the roasted flavor, are more than enough for me. |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 11:03:13 GMT -5
I saw her after break and decided I needed to ask her out. Our first date evolved into our first three day weekend. That's what I call a hot first date, Mr. Stud Muffin! Ladies, never underestimate the power of a good haircut! (Or the word 'yes.') |
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Post by billhammond on May 5, 2024 10:01:35 GMT -5
The first I heard the porpoise was around 55 years ago in Chicago. The porpoises were kept at the Shedd Aauarium on Chicago’s lake shore. The lion had escaped from Lincoln Park Zoo near the lake shore but farther north. The lion fell asleep in front of the porpoise tank preventing their critical regular feeding of young seagulls. Not wanting to wake the lion, the keeper sprinkled bread crumbs across it and released the fledgling gulls so they would cross over the lion and into the porpoise tank while eating the bread crumbs. Whereupon the keeper was arrested for “transporting young gulls across staid lions for immortal porpoises.” There appear to be multiple versions. The one I learned went along these lines: So this guy who works at an aquarium gets summoned by his boss, who is looking very worried. And she says to him "I've just been by the Dolphin Tanks, and they're feeling very amourous... They're doing all sorts of things to each other. And the trouble is; in less than an hour we've got three busloads of second graders coming. We can't have them watching those naughty dolphins behaving as if they're in a porno flick. Now there's only one thing that acts as an anti-aphrodisiac for dolphins, and it's the meat of baby seagulls. So I want you to go down to the Sea Shore, grab some baby seagulls, put them in this bag, and hurry on back. But be carefull... A lion escaped from the zoo this morning, and although he was heavily sedated, he still just might be dangerous. Now get going, and hurry on back!" So the guy takes a shortcut through the forest to the sea shore, fills the bag with baby sea gulls, and he's walking back through the forest when he sees the lion! And it is lying across the path directly in front of him. It's too late to run away. And the feline does seem very placid. So, summoning up all his courage, he steps across the lion! Nothing happens. And so with much relief the guy begins to resume his journey when all of a sudden a Policeman jumps out of the forest, grabs the guy by the arm, and says to him "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!!" The guy can't believe it. He says, "Tell me officer, What's the charge?" And the Policeman says... Transporting young gulls across a staid lion for immoral porpoises! |
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 21:57:41 GMT -5
Or my favorite quintuple pun: "Transporting gulls across a staid lion for immortal porpoises" I always heard "immoral." |
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 21:12:38 GMT -5
Remember the punchline “if the foo shits wear it” ? About the same era as "That's the Furry with the syringe on top." |
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 15:30:32 GMT -5
Unfortunately it pooped on one of the graduates during the fly by as well as the stage. What else gives him pleasure at this point in his life? "My kids ... flap, flap ... never got to ... flap, flap ... go to college ... flap, flap ... BOMBS AWAY!" |
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 14:17:02 GMT -5
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 14:08:52 GMT -5
Cool, you can bring home some furniture in your Racy Red Sube!  p.s. There's a Culver's in Kernersville! |
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 9:34:05 GMT -5
We have Grey Jays here and I've seen Blue Jays up North. Pretty but loud and obnoxious little buggers. Don't you have this bass-ackwards? Blue jays are common in the metro Twin Cities area (including my neighborhood), but I've seen gray jays only in northern MN. |
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Post by billhammond on May 4, 2024 9:30:41 GMT -5
I have the house set at the same heat level as always, 67, but it seems chilly with the dampness in the air. But it's good to see everything greening up so deeply after so many months of thirsting.
Not much on my weekend agenda -- a Trader Joe's run for sure, maybe the Accordion Concert (see separate thread) tonight if the weather clears/warms.
It goes without saying that Her Grace of Brooklyn and I will be taking advantage of a Formula 1 rarity -- two races in one weekend. There will be a so-called sprint race this morning, a shorter feature used for qualifying in tomorrow's main event, all on a Miami street circuit.
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Post by billhammond on May 3, 2024 23:02:34 GMT -5
Do you know if he ever played with Sleepy Joe Biden? Booooo! Yeah, that was dumb -- Sleepy John was way too young to do dat! |
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Post by billhammond on May 3, 2024 23:01:23 GMT -5
As I am certain you all are aware, May 6th is this year's date for World Accordion Day, but in a blessing bestowed upon the Twin Cities, the 13-player Masked Accordions group will be celebrating early, on the 4th, with a concert at St. Paul's Como Lakeside Pavilion, a mile south of my home. Astonishingly, it's free!  Be there at 6 for the 6:30 show -- food and drink available on site. |
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