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Post by billhammond on Oct 8, 2006 19:40:40 GMT -5
I just got back from attending my first AA meeting. Everyone was so welcoming and wise and just amazingly real. Wow, the stories they told!
I attended on my own initiative after having a chemical assessment done last week, which followed a series of falling-off-the-wagon evenings after I had gone for months (since mid-May) without drinking. In the past couple of years, I have just enjoyed wine and beer way too much, and it was affecting my relationship with Barb (and no doubt with others). It was clear that something needed to be done.
My father waited until he was retired, and in his 60s, to go through treatment and to join AA. I consider myself tremendously lucky to have not waited so long. And I can see how the meetings not only are beneficial, but essential.
(It made me think about how after our daughter died, my wife and I became aligned with the Compassionate Friends group, and how important that group became, if for no other reason than just to sit among people who really KNEW what it was like to suffer such a profound loss.)
I am also very fortunate that I have not been arrested for DUI, or hurt myself physically, or anyone else, on the countless occasions when I have been legally drunk and wandering around God's green earth.
I got into my car after the meeting tonight, started the engine, pulled out of the parking lot and heard myself say, aloud, "Well, Bill, that is the smartest fucking thing you ever did."
And it is, and I know it.
And now you know it, too. Please feel free to ask me about it whenever you wish, friends. I'm going to another meeting tomorrow, a different chapter -- both are nearby, but I want to have a Monday one available each week for those weeks when I can't make it to the Sunday one.
There were some people there tonight who have been sober only a week or so, and one guy who has not had a drink in 31 years and still goes to several meetings a week.
They are all dear to me already, and I look forward to getting to know them better.
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Post by Cornflake on Oct 8, 2006 19:43:25 GMT -5
Good for you, Bill, both for recognizing the need and for doing something about it. I suspect it will be hard at times but you have the fortitude.
You also have an online support group.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 8, 2006 19:56:09 GMT -5
Thank you, Don. Much appreciated.
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Post by Cosmic Wonder on Oct 8, 2006 19:56:32 GMT -5
Well, do I ever feel like an ass starting the beer thread.
My Mom was married four times. Every one of them was an alcoholic. As a result I have issues with alcoholics. That said, I wish you success at keeping this addiction at bay, Bill. From my perspective, if you are successful, it will immensely help your relationship with your kids.
Mike
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Post by kenlarsson on Oct 8, 2006 19:57:03 GMT -5
Bill, I've posted here before about the fact the I am an alcoholic in AA. I'm always available if you need to talk, write, whatever. The first step is the hardest. The twin cities area is known around the program for good AA meetings. Good on you. One day at a time. Don't worry about the beer thread Cosmic. No big deal. You can't avoid the fact the people drink in this society. We don't, that's all.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 8, 2006 19:59:00 GMT -5
Well, do I ever feel like an ass starting the beer thread. My Mom was married four times. Every one of them was an alcoholic. As a result I have issues with alcoholics. That said, I wish you success at keeping this addiction at bay, Bill. From my perspective, if you are successful, it will immensely help your relationship with your kids. Mike Mike -- PLEASE do not worry about starting that thread, and no one else should refrain, either. I can still TALK about it and READ about it, and appreciate all kinds of things about, I just cannot actually DO it. I was proud of myself for not having a drink while my kids were with me this past summer, but I am even happier about facing the music and not dancing around the problem any longer.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 8, 2006 20:00:25 GMT -5
I thought about you, Ken, when posting this thread, and you are a wonderful friend to have for that reason and many, many others. Thanks.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2006 20:03:12 GMT -5
Hey Bill it's a really good program. I went to al alnon for awhile and have friends in AA and I think it's a really good thing. One day at a time as they say, huh. I look forward to hearing more about your experience with AA.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 8, 2006 20:06:01 GMT -5
Hey Bill it's a really good program. I went to al alnon for awhile and have friends in AA and I think it's a really good thing. One day at a time as they say, huh. I look forward to hearing more about your experience with AA. Yeah, and think how many CDs I can sell to these guys! HA HA HA! Thanks a lot, Wren...
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Post by billhammond on Oct 8, 2006 20:10:06 GMT -5
And now, please, folks, talk about OTHER stuff! There is laundry to be done here, and a Goodall that needs playing. I'm logging off for the night. Thanks again for your kind words, support, and most of all, your friendship.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2006 20:12:38 GMT -5
OK I will close this Sunday service with our serenity prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the strings I cannot change the courage to change the strings I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Post by sekhmet on Oct 8, 2006 20:34:35 GMT -5
log off all you like billiam, you don't get to tell me to talk about other things, no matter how centred out you feel.
hugs. you're a fine man and I am blown away that you just said what you said, and so glad that you had the sense to see that the drinking was becoming a problem. Takes a strong man, but then, how could you be anything else? *scritches*
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Post by Marshall on Oct 8, 2006 20:34:50 GMT -5
Good move, William.
I suppose I dance a fine line myself. Once I get rolling, it's very hard to stop. I'm really trying to say "go slow" and then "no" in social situations. It's amazing how our (male) culture expects you to drink with the boys. I regularly go to a bar with clients, consultants and contractors after a project meeting. It's a weekly ritual. A couple weeks ago I drank only non-alcohlic beer; all evening. I was amazed at how much grief I got from everybody. It was like I was betraying someone.
I also play in a regular guy racquetball group. It seems like it's really an excuse to go out and have several pitchers of beer afterward. It's hard to control. But I'm trying to make sure i have it under (relative) control.
The world is not so supportive.
There's a good AA group that meets in our church. Some guys have been there longer than the 20 years I attended the church. It takes perseverence.
I did promise myself I would not ride the motorcycle after drinking anything.
I'm rambling. Good move, Bill.
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Post by Cornflake on Oct 8, 2006 20:48:36 GMT -5
Marshall, I drink a lot of beer. I suspect that those of us who consume a fair amount all wonder at one point or another if we have a problem. My now-retired physician once said that a rule of thumb is that if your significant other thinks you have a problem, then you do. That's not scientific but it's probably not bad as rough tests go.
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Post by guitone on Oct 8, 2006 20:50:56 GMT -5
Bill, good for you....recognizing is the beginning to changing....Don't blow it with barb, she sounds like your much better half. In all seriousness, best of luck and stay focused.
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Post by dradtke on Oct 8, 2006 20:53:47 GMT -5
And yet more moral support, Bill.
Any of those folks at the meetings play guitar?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2006 21:04:07 GMT -5
Good for you, Bill. Sometimes you just know when it's time. I know that you will do just fine and feel better because of it.
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Post by aquaduct on Oct 8, 2006 21:11:18 GMT -5
No, I'm not going to log off and do the dang laundry!
Good on ya' chief. That's a courageous decision and I wish you all the best.
Dammit.
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Post by SteveO on Oct 8, 2006 21:11:21 GMT -5
Bill, I also am a Friend of Bill W. I've been Sober going on 2yrs now, my clean date is Nov/04 I am a Grateful Alcoholic in Recovery
I have been working at one of Treatment Centers...Part time 12 stepping others that are less fortunate.......
I've been a sponsor now for almost a year
it has been a different way of life for me but a rewarding one.... If ever need someone to talk to,feel free to email me
cause it is without parallel that one Alcoholic help another
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Tamarack
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Post by Tamarack on Oct 8, 2006 21:19:43 GMT -5
Bill -- I had no idea. I am overjoyed that you have taken that huge first step and chosen to go to AA meetings.
I have a friend of long standing who is a recovering alcoholic. In our 20s we used to close bars together. Now we close coffee shops. It took him years of interventions, etc. before he began going to AA. I am a wiser man from having spent long hours talking with A. about alcoholism, depression, and spirituality (all mixed together). I hope A. benefitted from these talks by my listening.
The most amazing thing about recovery is how much joy and peace there is when recovery begins taking hold.
Praying and pulling for you here. Please keep us posted -- we don't expect you to spill your guts every week, but I would surely like to hear occassional updates.
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