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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 15:00:10 GMT -5
Only an alcoholic or someone who has been directly affected by one can understand that. But I'm telling you, those of us who are/have been, can understand it.
Like I told Bill in an email. When alcohol has an adverse affect on your life, you have an alcohol problem that needs addressing.
SteveO, I love the cucumber analogy. What a great way to express it.
As to teeder's joke, my half-brother/sister's father was such an alcoholic that when he finally got his license back (after 15+ years), he drove himself to his AA meeting for the first time. Then he went out afterward, got drunk and got a DUI. Very, very sad.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 15:07:42 GMT -5
Somebody liked those alcohol free beers to showering in your rain gear. Never tried them, are they really drinkable? Yeh, some are OK, although I don't plan to drink them often, would rather make a clean break from that taste. Kaliber, by Guinness, is good, as are the ones by Beck's and Heineken.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 15:46:04 GMT -5
Bill, water and jiuices are your best bet, with maybe the occassional soda. Works for me.
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Post by iamjohnne on Oct 9, 2006 17:30:53 GMT -5
Geeze, we all seem to be voicing our opinions here. Ok so here are my statements:
If work or family is interfering with your drinking habits, maybe you do have a problem;
If you cannot plan an outing with out figuring how much booze to take, maybe you have a problem;
It does not seem to matter if you drink alone or with company, if your drinking affects someone else, maybe you have a problem.
An alcoholic does not have to be a bum in the streets. Nor does he have to drink everyday. There are binge drinkers who only drink every six months.
Bill, I wish you well. If by chance you slip back, keep going to the meetings. The folks there will love you and accept you anyway.
It takes work, lots of it. You will get to know yourself in a whole new light. Who knows, you might even find that you are can be comfortable in your own skin.
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Post by timfarney on Oct 9, 2006 19:10:30 GMT -5
We can abuse you for awhile, Tim. How about it? So how many guitars have you been through in the last year? In the last year? Not many. The last 10 years? Don't ask. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm ripe for abuse. And I really don't want to abuse Bill. But he kept calling for folks to talk about something else, so I thought I'd make a clumsy attempt and lightening things up a bit. Tim
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 19:32:27 GMT -5
Now we can really abuse you, Tim. Lighten things up? What for? I like sitting in the dark!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 20:07:28 GMT -5
Well congratulations, Bill! I'm glad to hear you sounding so good and so positive. As Steve-O said, it's a "forever" thing and after the initial feeling of the burden being lifted, you still must work it every day, but as I'm sure you've heard, it gets easier. You always have people to talk to whether the times are good or a bit rough. Use 'em! For me, it's been a little over seven years and sometimes it seems like yesterday. The days, months and years really don't matter at all. It's only today that matters! I believe that all alcoholic guitar players should own at least one Goodall and in some cases a Santa Cruz. ;D Continued good wishes, man.
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Post by timfarney on Oct 9, 2006 20:26:37 GMT -5
Ok, Ok...but let's not hijack Bill's thread. You wanna abuse poor time the guitar shape-shifter? Fine. Start a thread for it. I can take it.
Tim
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Post by t-bob on Oct 10, 2006 8:08:12 GMT -5
Bill, only now do you see the effect of playing only over the soundhole!
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Post by billhammond on Oct 10, 2006 9:03:15 GMT -5
Steveo asked about last night's meeting. Here is my reply:
Thanks for asking, Steve -- It was quite a bit different, but very good. The guy I sat to at my Sunday meeting, who gave me a "Day by Day" book and was really nice to me, was there! And he was leading the meeting, too!
At that first meeting, once it was revealed that I was at my first AA meeting, the agenda was automatically switched to discussion of Step One.
Well, last night, because it was no longer my first meeting, we followed the standard agenda, and the discussion was about Step Five, a biggie, in which you are directed to admit, preferably to someone else (singular or multiple -- maybe your sponsor), the exact nature of all your wrongs. And we read aloud, a paragraph at a time, around the table, from the AA bible all about that step.
Again I was struck by how many long-timers take such an active and frequent effort to maintain their sobriety. I am certainly willing to make that effort, and I accept that it's the most important thing in my life to do so (absolutely) but I hope I am not deluding myself in feeling in my gut that one weekly meeting will keep me on the straight and narrow, as I have never really had this intense, undeniable craving for alcohol or its effects -- I've merely used a lot of bad judgment over the years and denied the cumulative and habitual nature of the drug.
I see the consequences very clearly today, and I don't take lightly the need for me to make a clean and permanent break. But it's not gnawing at me, and I feel terrific physically and mentally and emotionally.
No one has explained to me yet how I go about getting a sponsor. I need to do some research.
But the bottom line is that I can see that I will be looking forward to these meetings. They are close by, only an hour long, they keep my attention and I am enjoying the people I am meeting there. It is so rare that a group of relative strangers gather and talk so openly about such important, VITAL, stuff.
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Post by t-bob on Oct 10, 2006 9:12:20 GMT -5
It's different for everyone, Bill. I attend only one meeting weekly, and sometimes miss that one, but speak to my sponsor daily, and it's those conversations that are the most helpful to both of us. He is 10 years older than I am, has 18 more years of sobriety. He and I have very similar backgrounds, geographically, and drinking/using history. It took me 6 years to find a good sponsor, although he was right in front of me from day 1.
The meeting I attend has this reputation.
"If you're doing 90/90, this Thursday Men's meeting counts against your total."
Screw it, I'm sober.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 10, 2006 9:14:02 GMT -5
"The meeting I attend has this reputation.
"If you're doing 90/90, this Thursday Men's meeting counts against your total."
Bob -- I don't get this, sorry. Splain, please?
And how do I find a sponsor?
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Post by t-bob on Oct 10, 2006 9:20:10 GMT -5
Our meeting on Thursday is "loose" by AA standards, lots of crosstalk, don't read steps or promises, some of the AA "nazis" have declared our meeting "a disgrace to AA". But it's a great meeting!
As for finding a sponsor, I'll be your "virtual sponsor" if you want. To find a real one, choose someone you think might be ok based on "whatever" and ask if they'll be your temporary sponsor. Took me 3 people to find the right one.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 10, 2006 9:24:54 GMT -5
Bob, but what is "90/90," ya got me curious?
Thanks for the offer on being a virtual sponsor. I must do more research on finding a local one!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2006 9:25:27 GMT -5
Hate to tell you this Bill, but it's kinda like finding a guardian in prison...
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Post by billhammond on Oct 10, 2006 9:25:50 GMT -5
Hate to tell you this Bill, but it's kinda like finding a guardian in prison... EWWWWWWWWW
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Post by SteveO on Oct 10, 2006 9:37:20 GMT -5
90 meetings in 90 days.....it gives you something to replace the time spent Drinking it sets up a New pattern in life
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2006 9:38:23 GMT -5
90/90 is 90 meetings in the first 90 days. Some groups can be so tough that they scare people away. Some are very laid back. You have to find some that make you comfortable. It's different for everyone. I haven't been to a meeting for many years though that's not recommended. I find having a few people to talk to works for me. It's a good idea as TB said to find a temporary sponsor. You can fire him anytime! Just try to keep communicating. You're good at that. Don't worry too much. You're doing the right thing.
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Post by millring on Oct 10, 2006 9:40:41 GMT -5
Too much to write here (I know. I tried. That's why the thread is 17 pages long and I haven't yet added to it). I wish you the best with this whole huge change.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2006 9:41:02 GMT -5
Ya know, it only takes two people to have a meeting. We could have an AA sub forum right here, but then I'm not good a attending meetings. ;D
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