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Post by Cosmic Wonder on Oct 9, 2006 8:11:33 GMT -5
Cool. Where do we send our orders? Oh, you have to pick them up in person, this week, Brian! I hope that is no inconvenience for you. DooD! I am sooo on the way. Just tell me where to park the schoolbus! ;D Mike
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Post by secondroy on Oct 9, 2006 8:17:52 GMT -5
I am an alcoholic Bill and have been in the program since 1980 though my sobriety date is after that. Joining AA was the most wonderful thing I did for myself, my career and my marriage I could have done. Next year I will have been married fifty years and this would have been impossible had I been drinking all that time. I live a comfortable retired life now without ever worrying what I did last night. Call me anytime you feel you need a someone to talk to. I consider the rest of my life is for the purpose of talking to those who feel they are having trouble stoping drinking. Someone in this forum called me a gentleman once.
I was proud of this statement but he should have seen me before.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 8:24:56 GMT -5
I am an alcoholic Bill and have been in the program since 1980 though my sobriety date is after that. Joining AA was the most wonderful thing I did for myself, my career and my marriage I could have done. Next year I will have been married fifty years and this would have been impossible had I been drinking all that time. I live a comfortable retired life now without ever worrying what I did last night. Call me anytime you feel you need a someone to talk to. I consider the rest of my life is for the purpose of talking to those who feel they are having trouble stoping drinking. Someone in this forum called me a gentleman once. I was proud of this statement but he should have seen me before. Wow, Roy -- You have no idea how much that post means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, and congratulations on your sobriety.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 8:36:33 GMT -5
Hi Bill!
I’ve been offline for a couple of days and just read your post and the great replies. I’d just like to add my applause to your candour and courage you’ve shown with your post. I wish you all the very best with your struggle. I suspect that, even though I only know you through these pages, that you have all the pedigree and credentials needed to see you through.
Cheers, and my respects to you and yours. Dave
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 8:53:47 GMT -5
Bill prepares to stage RoseJam IX --
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Post by t-bob on Oct 9, 2006 9:14:00 GMT -5
Hey, Bill, In AA here since 1998, close to a couple of years this time around. Quite a few starts and stops. My nickname at my home group is eightball. Good move, Bill. As others said, try to get Barb involved in a support group.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 9:20:50 GMT -5
12-step programs are strongly faith-based, Bill, as you know, and you have a strong and generous spirit.
Good luck in the journey.
El
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 9:27:49 GMT -5
12-step programs are strongly faith-based, Bill, as you know, and you have a strong and generous spirit. Good luck in the journey. El Thanks, El -- I have been all over the map when it comes to religion and spiritual beliefs over the years, and I gotta admit that I was a little bothered that my first meeting closed with everyone saying the Lord's Prayer, as there are lots of other faiths beyond Christianity, is all. But I do recognize the importance of that component in AA, just as I have already concluded through reading and pondering that there are some steps that will "click" stronger with certain people than others. In my case, I think the meetings themselves will be my primary medication -- I am a realist whose day to day job deals with telling stories as truthfully as possible, and hearing other people's stories about how alcohol has affected their loved ones' lives and their own is a strong, strong deterrent, made even more so when it's my time to speak and I listen to my own truth. One could argue that I am not as "bad" as the AA members at that table last night who were there as part of court orders, or who told stories of multi-day, multi-week benders, and having quarts of vodka hidden in their desks at work, etc., but De Nile is a major river in Egypt, and if something has control over me and is doing harm, arguing about the "extent" is pretty damn silly. It seems to me that once you admit you are an alcoholic, you are just as pregnant as the next person who admits likewise.
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Post by secondroy on Oct 9, 2006 9:42:07 GMT -5
Bill, the extent of your addiction is never an issue in AA, only your desire to stop drinking. I mention this because my failure to heed this principal caused me a few “starts and stop”, until I realized my desire to stop drinking had nothing to do with how much or how often I drank.
I probably won’t speak much more on this issue except to you personally, but know that I am here every day if you wish to talk.
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Post by andrewg on Oct 9, 2006 9:55:41 GMT -5
Bill, I also had no idea. I guess that the most difficult part is recognising that you have an issue with alcohol and doing something positive. Bravo for that. So, tell me, how much is too much-how would one recognise alcoholism in oneself? I hope this isn't too personal a question and I ask out of a genuine interest-and possibly self-interest.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 10:09:15 GMT -5
Bill, I also had no idea. I guess that the most difficult part is recognising that you have an issue with alcohol and doing something positive. Bravo for that. So, tell me, how much is too much-how would one recognise alcoholism in oneself? I hope this isn't too personal a question and I ask out of a genuine interest-and possibly self-interest. Well, Andy, I live alone, most of the time. And I just got too much into the habit of "celebrating" my basically good life (great kids, great girlfriend, good health, excellent job, cute house, etc., etc.) by picking up a bottle of wine on the way home from work, having a glass or two whilst cooking and eating supper, then sipping away on it into the evening until ... lo and behold, it is GONE and it's only 8 p.m. (I get home around 4) and I still would like MORE and maybe I do or do not have more, but by that point I am already clearly legally drunk, even if I feel just dandy and merely happy, and I can play guitar and do housework, etc. I mean, if and when I got in a car at that point (and I have), I am a public threat. And around 9, when I typically get a how-was-your-day call from Barb (who lives an hour away), she noticed too many times when my speech was affected, or I was just not my normal self. And there were plenty of times when the next day, she and I would come to the realization that I had forgotten parts of those conversations. And there were innumerable guitar-related gatherings where I drank, on and off, from noon until I finally crashed into bed. And there were those years in the Navy, when CNO Elmo Zumwalt sought to "improve our lives" with, in part, cheap and easy access to alcohol. (We had BEER-CAN machines in our barracks, fer chrissakes -- a QUARTER a can, I am serious. And 25-cent cocktails at the Enlisted Men's club in Iceland during happy hour.) Happy, indeed.
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Post by andrewg on Oct 9, 2006 10:14:33 GMT -5
I too live alone and can quite happily chug down a bottle of wine with not much sign of intoxication. I don't drive though so I don't pose a mechanical danger to anyone! It has been a week or so since I had a drink but, although I could go down the road for a bottle, I don't feel a burning need-yet. Something to be watched, I feel.
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 10:24:13 GMT -5
I too live alone and can quite happily chug down a bottle of wine with not much sign of intoxication. I don't drive though so I don't pose a mechanical danger to anyone! It has been a week or so since I had a drink but, although I could go down the road for a bottle, I don't feel a burning need-yet. Something to be watched, I feel. LOTS of times I never felt a burning need, more like a "Ah, that would be nice, wouldn't it, and haven't I earned a little nicety or two?" It's a very insidious drug, in that it is LEGAL and such a part of so many social and purportedly elegant settings.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 10:43:10 GMT -5
Very true Bill and that is why the peer group pressure is also seemingly innocent although far from it. It`s acceptable and that for those who recognise a problem is a tough hurdle. I drink you know that but in this situation I relate it to marijuana, I was a smoker as were my friends. Unfortunately or fortunately in the process of giving that up i had to lose friends. I`ve been clean for 10 years and haven`t looked back. Sure I miss some of the folks but my sanity, health and wallet where in that case more important. I easily could have lost it all. I physicaly had to remove myself from all situations that involved dope and the people surrounding that. Now I`m not tempted at all. I can be at a party and a joint may break out. I feel good that I can say no. I don`t judge those who partake but it`s not for me because I could easily step back into the shoes I once wore. I`m not speaking as a casual smoker. I smoked dope every day of the week. I haven`t admitted that online before. After I made the decission it took a while of cravings,but there was a day when I woke and felt free from it. Not free in that I could go without it( I know how easily I could step back into that life) but free in that I could say no. I enjoyed it , I lived it, hell I loved it. However I recognised a big problem and that step was huge and lasting.
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Post by Gypsy Picker on Oct 9, 2006 11:01:20 GMT -5
Your strength and courage are admirable, Bill. As a purveyor, I can't help but feel some guilt and added responsibility when alcohol becomes a problem for a friend. I see it alot, as you might guess, and just can't pay for enough cab rides home or otherwise mitigate self-destructive behavior to cleanse my concience. If there's anything I can do (short of serving you a drink), anytime, I'll be here for you.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 11:02:22 GMT -5
"With the money I save, ALL SOUNDHOLERS GET NEW GOODALLS!!!!!" If I get to choose specs make mine an OM, 12 fret, venetian cutaway, 1 13/16 nut, ebony bridge & fingerboard, redwood top, walnut back & sides, no detailed inlay for me, and a Calton case. Call me when it's ready. As cool as that would be I'd much rather see you healthy, happy, and your demons far in your past. I'm confident you'll be much better prepared to focus on your gifts/talents and make the best of them. Now play us a tune.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 11:32:06 GMT -5
Wow, Bill Hammond! What a bold step you're making. The fellowship and understanding found at these meetings will be a powerful peace to your heart. Much of my ministry of song at the VAMC is to the alcoholics and other substance abuse cats like me, with 3 decades ('til '99) of cannabis abuse that I felt I required to feel normal. I brought much grief to my family, and even now have a son, waiting on a misdemeanor sentence probably due to my influences. (Forgive me Lord!) Remember that God's mercy touches the lives that He chooses, and in reality, His grace if sufficient for all situations, if we allow it.
And if it be OK, Bill, my prayers are offered up for a new beginning. Blessed, by only requiring the BIG big book, Dan ex-Pothead
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 11:47:31 GMT -5
Hello Bill,
Good move. I've just had my best friend to stay for a few days, an AA regular.
His beliefs sit somewhere between atheist and Einstinian religion and he found himself a bit non-plussed by the higher power/religious aspects of the meetings. He decided to be relaxed with other peoples needs in that direction and to be his irreligious self, but with a little more humility and less blinkered self-justification.
Seems to have all worked very well. He now chairs a lot of the meetings (very wisely, I'm sure).
I rather caffeine-fried my brains keeping up with his coffee consumption though.
You will also immensely reduce the risk of Dupuytren's contracture by avoiding heavy drinking, it's largest non-genetic cause. It's really messed with my (alcoholic) father's golf. Guitar picking would be out of the question with all those bunched up tendons and fingers.
Best wishes and enjoy your unbefuddled twanging times
James
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Post by billhammond on Oct 9, 2006 12:03:07 GMT -5
Thank you, James, Dan and others. This is all very helpful and humbling. I have another meeting tonight. I think I will be fine. LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, OK?
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Post by theevan on Oct 9, 2006 12:05:05 GMT -5
Bill, I believed everything you said until you mentioned your CNO Elmo Zumwalt . I'm sorry, but there's NO WAY anybody is named that.
Seriously, great thread. I'm a strong believer in 12-stepping, including the faith aspect. (Elf, I love what you said about that.) The lifestyle & attitudes represented by the 12 steps represent to me what my Christianity ought to look like.
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