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Post by drlj on Apr 28, 2015 21:45:06 GMT -5
I figured he had been treated worse on purpose. With me, at least it was an accident and I actually tried to save him. Talk about roles being reversed!
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Post by epaul on Apr 28, 2015 22:16:04 GMT -5
I used to be an altar boy. I did not like being an altar boy ... I forgot about the choir loft... I scramble over to get Jesus and then did not know what to do with him... I kept going, holding Jesus in one hand and the now empty cross in the other...I hit the door like a kid on fire, leaving broken Jesus on the table... the next day the nun in charge told me my services were not going to ever be needed again... You just don't get stuff like this on other guitar forums!
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Post by drlj on Apr 28, 2015 22:42:15 GMT -5
It was the only time in my life I was ever fired and from that point on, a choir loft never caught me unaware again.
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Post by Doug on Apr 28, 2015 23:15:48 GMT -5
Anyone who believes in an all powerful deity* (including Wham-O) and believes that man can mess up the way that deity wants his/hers/its creation to work is expressing contradictory views. There's no contradiction. You've made an unsupported assumption about how God wants creation to work. Man has screwed up lots about creation. Air pollution, water pollution, we've driven species to extinction. If God wants creation to work according to laws he set in motion, and climate change is explained by the operation of those laws, then there is no contradiction. (For the sake of argument, I've assumed that God exists, when, as an atheist, I don't have any reason to believe that is true. ) From that you can argue that humans are just a passing fad for God like dinosaurs or dodo birds, and nothing we do will have any effect on anything. And if I remember the answer is 42.
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Post by TKennedy on Apr 28, 2015 23:18:58 GMT -5
I love alter boy stories. That's a good one. I remember how we used to try to see who could swing the Censor the highest during Benediction. One of my buddies got it a little high and it came apart and the red hot cube of charcoal fell on the carpet and started a small fire while Jesus Christ was looking down from the Monstrance.
Regarding the Pope. Cut him some slack, he's a Jesuit, he's smarter than you are.
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Post by billhammond on Apr 28, 2015 23:34:30 GMT -5
Alter boys are genitalically modified.
Censors allow no smoke.
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Post by Russell Letson on Apr 29, 2015 0:50:01 GMT -5
The modified alter boys are the ones with the permanently high singing voices. (I was going to ask LJ if it was his cassock that was suplus, but Bill's catches are much better.)
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Post by coachdoc on Apr 29, 2015 4:17:58 GMT -5
Surplice
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Post by brucemacneill on Apr 29, 2015 5:30:48 GMT -5
I read through the thread and I rest my case. Most of you are really funny when it comes to religion. You're elitist, bigoted, liberal lemmings. And, incidentally, I'm no longer physically capable of being as full of shit as most of you are.
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Post by drlj on Apr 29, 2015 7:17:31 GMT -5
I read through the thread and I rest my case. Most of you are really funny when it comes to religion. You're elitist, bigoted, liberal lemmings. And, incidentally, I'm no longer physically capable of being as full of shit as most of you are. Oh, I think a doctor could attest to the fact that you are. We would not have to involve religion to prove that one. Thanks for the spelling correction, coachdoc. I was tired, the telling of the story was bringing back all the shame and humiliation, and the part of my brain that deals with spelling church words was not working correctly. I had other altar boy adventures so, in truth, breaking Jesus off the cross was sort of the final nail in my altar boy coffin. I can remember swinging the incense at long funeral masses in the summer and having a co-altar boy or two actually hit the floor because of it. We did not have air conditioning in those days and that sweet, thick smoke could really do a person in on a hot summer morning. Nothing like the sight of someone dragging a 12 year old, unconscious boy off the altar during Aunt Bessie's final good-bye.
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Post by dradtke on Apr 29, 2015 7:22:00 GMT -5
I was never an altar boy, being Lutheran, but I was an acolyte. The trick there, if you had the early service, was to mash the candle wicks down good when you put them out at the end of the service so that your friend, who was doing the later service, wouldn't be able to get them lit.
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Post by Marshall on Apr 29, 2015 7:36:05 GMT -5
I used to be an altar boy. I did not like being an altar boy but when you went to a Catholic school and you were male, you were drafted into the service and heading for Canada didn't get you anywhere. I was tall, so I got picked to lead a procession during Advent. At least I think it was Advent. Anyway, I was lead man with the bishop and the really mean parish priest right behind me as I led the parade through the church with the plan being to head out the back door, down the steps, around the building, and into the side door heading back into the church. Followed by the priest, bishop and the entire school population of maybe 200 young martyrs with me in the lead proudly carrying the big metal crucifix on a heavy metal pole. We headed down the aisle, me in my moment of glory proudly hoisting the crucifix. I forgot about the choir loft. BAM! I walked the expensive crucifix into the front of the loft and broke Jesus right off the cross. He clattered to the floor and slid under a pew. I scramble over to get Jesus and then did not know what to do with him. I kept going, holding Jesus in one hand and the now empty cross in the other. I could feel the eyes of the mean priest boring into the back of my head and I knew my ass was mowed grass as soon as the mass was over. I shot into the changing room as soon as it was over, pulled off the surplice and cassock and hit the door like a kid on fire, leaving broken Jesus on the table. I never heard anything about it from the mean priest but the next day the nun in charge told me my services were not going to ever be needed again. She fired me!! As far as I know, I am the only altar boy who was drummed out of the corps for breaking Jesus. Interestingly you'd make a good protestant then. The crux of the cross in protestant denominations the cross is always depicted empty, because it's not about the crucifixion, it's about the admonishment that Jesus conquers the death and the cross by rising from the dead. And that is your confirmation lesson for the day.
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Post by drlj on Apr 29, 2015 7:39:45 GMT -5
I was never an altar boy, being Lutheran, but I was an acolyte. The trick there, if you had the early service, was to mash the candle wicks down good when you put them out at the end of the service so that your friend, who was doing the later service, wouldn't be able to get them lit. We did that wick trick, too. We also used to hit our friends in the throat during communion with the paten, which was a small, golden, plate on a handle that we placed under the chin of those receiving communion to catch any communion crumbs. There were never any crumbs since the wafers did not lend themselves to that. It seemed like a totally unnecessary thing to do, but it was fun to hit our buddies in the Adam's apple with the paten since they could not react or jump up and punch us. The priests never seemed to notice. The use of the paten has been eliminated from communion in modern times so today's servers are denied that bit of fun.
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Post by TKennedy on Apr 29, 2015 8:41:12 GMT -5
The Paten certainly produced some dramatic moments. It was every Altar Boy's fantasy to actually catch Jesus. One day it actually happened to my friend Norm Goding. He caught Jesus kind of on edge and He bounced and there was a moment of horror as he juggled Him on the Paten. Ultimately He fell to the carpet everything stopped followed by the rarely seen and elaborate "Jesus on the carpet" ritual of the 50's.
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Post by millring on Apr 29, 2015 8:45:08 GMT -5
If you apprentice with a tailor, you could be an alter boy.
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Post by billhammond on Apr 29, 2015 8:48:10 GMT -5
If you apprentice with a tailor, you could be an alter boy. If you apprentice with a Taylor, you could be a chick.
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Post by AlanC on Apr 29, 2015 9:03:32 GMT -5
We had World Book. I'm guessing it's because Encyclical Britannica was more expensive. World Book had better pictures, though. We had World Book because my grandmother sold them door to door to her 3 grade students, on the get the "A" volume for free and the rest on one volume at a time plan. She sold them every summer to supplement here teachers income and so she could afford to give each of 4 children's families the whole set. By the time she died in '57 my cousins and had all but the last few volumes which got finished out by our parents. Finally something worth commenting on! I still have the storybooks that came with the WB set that my parents bought from a door to door salesman in 1960. Those books have been read to 3 generations (and counting) of my family at bedtime. Best Children's Books ever. "Once there was an Elephant who tried to use the telephant...."
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Post by drlj on Apr 29, 2015 9:22:37 GMT -5
Funny, I don't recall any books like that being part of the deal. I wonder if they were just a local special where you lived or if we didn't get them for some other reason.
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Post by epaul on Apr 29, 2015 9:30:30 GMT -5
We got a Moped scooter with our set. Boy, did we have fun with that thing.
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Post by drlj on Apr 29, 2015 9:33:39 GMT -5
We got a Ford F-100 but no books.
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